Dear yoada428:
I hope you get the help you need. Of course a routine will help and I hope you can form such a routine. When you are calmer or feeling better, perhaps attend to the project of challenging your thoughts and forming realistic thoughts (the concept of CBT: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). Things you believe are not so in reality. The macho and all-man you assume her boyfriend to be is probably your delusion, not much to do with reality. Just one of many assumptions that you make that are not so. Please post again and I am rooting for you to get better and better!
anita