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Overwhelmed from Burnout & Family Crisis

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  • February 17, 2016 at 9:58 am #96302
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jesse:

    I am supposing it is the emotional distress over your mother’s illness and the difficulties in getting her treatment that is exhausting you most. There is the fear, the frustration and the interruption to your plans to move out and start a business or find a more suitable job for yourself.

    There are the obvious pieces of advice: meditation, imagery, hot baths, walks in nature etc. I have other thoughts as well, first I will ask you: did you talk to your mother about your distress over her illness and difficulties getting treatment? Over your frustration about not moving on with your personal plans?

    anita

    February 17, 2016 at 11:26 am #96307
    hakandragon
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Yes, it’s definitely the most exhausting. I think at this point there is so much frustration that she’s not able to receive the treatment she needs (through absolutely no fault of hers or anyone’s — maybe having no one to blame makes it difficult too?). We keep getting our hopes up that she’ll finally get what she needs, and then it doesn’t happen. It’s a lot of ups and downs, and the downs go down pretty far.

    I definitely don’t feel able to talk to my mom about my distress and frustrations…she needs to focus on getting better and dealing with her own emotions and everything that’s going on with her…she doesn’t need me essentially pouting and saying I can’t deal, especially when there’s not really anything that can be done about it, you know?

    February 17, 2016 at 12:12 pm #96314
    Shelly
    Participant

    Are you able to maybe see a counselor or therapist? I’ve gone through similar things and talking with someone who understands really helps, and they can also give you some solid advice.

    Like anita suggested, try and have some “me” time and relax. Meditation, being with nature, doing things you enjoy, etc. Take care of yourself, and don’t put too much on your plate at once.

    February 17, 2016 at 3:05 pm #96341
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear hakandragon:

    I read your last post and I understand your unwillingness to share your feelings with your mother at this point. In the original one you asked: “What have you done to cope and get through, and heal yourself from that terrible burnout?” Suggestions:

    Do less, place fewer things on your to do list and be okay with doing less.
    Be patient and gentle with yourself.
    Take care of yourself by eating well, resting, relaxing (relaxing music, yoga, meditation, hot baths, exercise..)
    There are support groups specific to adult children who are attending to sick parents, online and I suppose in person groups.

    And of course, you can post here anytime, express your feelings and thoughts, anytime.

    anita

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