Wow, I wish I could reach across the inter-webs and give you a hug.

One thing that jumps to mind is, what kind of digestive disorders do you have? I ask in part because I went for several years with an un-diagnosed but severe wheat intolerance and one of the symptoms I exhibit is extreme anxiety after consuming wheat products (like, one beer = panic attack). So just in glancing over your post, I wondered if perhaps there is something else going on that is contributing to your feelings, especially if you are on a very starchy diet. Often starches make us crave more starches, so maybe that particular diet just isn’t right for your body, right now. Another thing I’ve noted is that oral contraceptives tend to make me crave fat- and carbohydrate-rich foods — and they give me awful mood swings!

This is probably going to sound like no help at all, but practicing loving your body as it is, instead of focusing on all the things you want to change about it, is truly the “solution.” Remind yourself that you are a totally unique person and how remarkable that miracle is! (As Dr. Seuss wrote, “There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”) I’ve also struggled with trying to control my food intake, throughout my life, and I found that when I put my focus on loving and treating my body as best I can, then I tend make the “right” choices from that place of love.

Dear Gigi:

I suggest psychotherapy with a competent, caring and hard working therapist (like the one I finally found) to deal with your anxiety. Insight into your childhood, skills of emotional regulation, mindfulness… these are priceless.

Regarding the food, I would stay, the biggest problem you described is overeating. Restricting what you can eat only causes cravings for the “bad foods”- it is better that you allow yourself to eat anything at all that your heart desires, in small amounts.

Banning foods fuels craving for banned foods. What we ban we crave. So … ban not.

anita