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Opportunity and zero confidence

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • September 5, 2017 at 12:51 am #166968
    Shawn995
    Participant

    hello there, i’ve posted a while ago one long post about my life, struggles with anxiety and low self esteem ,aswell as quiting my first job and moving back home to help a sick grandma and daily arguments with my mother (long story , short)…i did my best this summer to keep myself up and tried to build my confidence, by forming better habbits and staying disciplined with them..i was jogging, training, reading , helping around the house aswell as helpin my grandma with her physical therapy, trying my best to keep the relationship work with my girlfriend that stayed in the capital, and also made time to go a little bit out with my friends..as the grandmas recovery progress, im am not longer needed here so i was planing to go back  with my girl and search for a work..in the meanwhile some close  relatives that live in Norway asked me if i wanted maybe to come and try to work there  (since they are aware of the financial situation in our country – if we something to happen to my grandmother that has foreign pension, with any work here, i wouldnt be able to provide for myself and also to send home to my mom)…now thats a great chance, since with work there i could manage to send some money home, aswell as to save up….but..there goes my confidence, i feel like i didnt moved an inch forward with my commitment to work on myself whole this summer, i still feel like shattered self esteem, no confidence in myself and my abilities to learn and to work, just to opposite, im feeling incompetent and worthless, overwhelmed and stuck…all of my fears are popping up in my head, that i wont be able to make it there, that i wont be able work, that i will lose my girlfriend , that even this little of confidence that i have will be shredded, and i would have to come back wit my tail between my legs…i know, its not realistic, i know that deep there i am capable of doing things right, but my feelings, fears, insecurities, and pressure that i put on myself, and also the need to take care of my family is making me really overwhelmed and petrified.

    September 5, 2017 at 10:52 am #167050
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shawn995:

    Your “need to take care of (your) family” is adding to your anxiety, isn’t it? If you didn’t have that need, that sense of duty, to take care of your grandmother and mother, would you feel lighter, less burdened, and less afraid?

    anita

    September 5, 2017 at 11:43 pm #167284
    Shawn995
    Participant

    I think it would loosen up my anxieties, yes, since as far as i know, even when i was about 11 years old , the question about what would i need to do to help my family, am i capable of doing something…even than that was the thought that i was steering my life  and my energy towards to, even tho i did not now that..i was never really driven by my wishes and desires or interests, and my self esteem was over the years just negatively reinforced by my own thoughs to the point that i really feel uncapable of doing anything right, that i dont know what woud i like from life, and whats best for me….i am trying to reason with myself (my mind) that i can actually do, i can actually make something of my life, but when its time for a decision and action, my reasoning narrows, and my emotions and discouraging thoughs are exploading . , So yeah, i am really scared. And thanks Anita for taking your time , it meant to me a lot

     

    September 6, 2017 at 12:15 pm #167412
    Hopefaith
    Participant

    It’s all in your mind you there people who don’t have families or face and live worse life but still they try one at a time you are lucky that all your body parts are working and you can do a normal and your relative has offered opportunity to you to make your life better……just stop thinking when you start thinking watch a funny video or inspirational video like butterfly boy I am sure if you watch butterfly boy video you will indeed think you are lucky and if he can live and try to make his life better why can’t I with so much to have……just grab that job opportunity and take one day at time…..

    September 6, 2017 at 2:25 pm #167458
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Shawn995:

    It will be good for you to lessen your anxieties, to not worry about helping your family, to not even try to help them, not at all, but instead worry about yourself, take care of yourself. When do you get the chance to live your own life? When do you become important enough to be number one in your life?

    What about your wishes, your desires, your interests (“i was never really driven by my wishes and desires or interests“)-

    What if you were driven by your wishes and desires and interests?

    And what if you knew what is best for you … and then went about to do what is best for you?

    You will be less scared if there was someone to take care of you. And who can be that someone, if not you.

    anita

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