Does moving back necessarily have to mean ‘giving up’? Why not see it as making a positive decision to put difficult things behind you and have a fresh start?

A couple of things you might not have realised you said though, which suggest you find it difficult to really take full responsibility for your own choices:

“I moved out here with an ex not by choice” – did the ex forcibly make you move? – or did you in fact choose (however reluctantly) to go along with the ex? (I hope it wasn’t forcible, though as you mention domestic violence, maybe it was, in which case, I am very sorry for misunderstanding.)

“because I am so smart and just need to get experience in the field” – Might you have given off this vibe in interviews? – it would immediately put most employers off. They will want people giving the impression that they will give the company their all, not that they’re out to get experience and then move on to something better. (You might not have meant that, but that’s how it came over here.)

“because if my current boyfriend didn’t uproot me” – again, did the boyfriend forcibly ‘uproot’ you?

The speeding ticket bit – I’ve had one too, and it is very tempting to blame the law enforcers for being mean enough to catch you out – but the bottom line is we were the ones that were breaking the law, so we need to accept responsibility for it, and for the consequences. Tough, but true. Sorry.

Edit – I hope this doesn’t come over too negatively. I’ve been looking back over choices I’ve made in the past, where I have previously tended to blame others for things that I now realise I went along with, so maybe I’m a bit more aware of how easy it is to be blinkered. Don’t beat yourself up about it, but we can’t change how we view things if we haven’t seen them clearly first. I hope you can be kind to yourself, and, if going back home is the right thing for you to do, that you will be able to see it in a positive light, and move forward. Take care.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by rosamundi.