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One thing after another

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  • November 23, 2014 at 4:00 pm #68304
    megan
    Participant

    Hello,

    I am new to this site and the forums but I have been doing some research as like the rest of what I have been reading I have been dealing with some really crazy stuff over the last few years months and weeks. In summary it seems like bad things or what seems bad luck and a string of unfortunate events continues to come my way. I am living across the country from my family and have been since I moved out here with an ex not by choice 3 years ago. After breaking up with him I found myself in a new relationship which resulted in a domestic violence case and restraining order etc. likewise I broke my elbow and my leg not more than 9 months after my elbow riding dirtbikes which is a new sport I picked up since living out here. I moved from the mountains to the city and began dating another man which has taken some turns for the worse as well. Unfortunately i feel I’m loosing myself with him and for many reasons know we are not right for each other which is not my main focus of this post. I also struggled to find a career choice and now that I have kind of found a direction I can go, I can not find a job that will give me the financial stability I need. I apply to so many jobs and no interview which is beyond frustrating because I am so smart and just need to get experience in the field I guess to make my wayne Steiner. But how do you do that if no one will
    Give you a chance! During all this in the last few weeks I’ve endured minor fender bender that’s turning into a huge headache- I am the at fault party- I’m
    So resentful because if my current boyfriend didn’t uproot me from
    Where I was living about 10 minutes from work I feel like this would ah e never have happened because now I sit in over 1 hour of traffic to get to work. Not right to think like that but it’s how I feel- I’m looking for a scapegoat since I feel like I keep screwing up. Then yestedsy I not only got a speeding ticket for going 40 in a 25 right off the highway pulling onto a gravel road leaving me with 2 points in my license jeopardizing my current career choice chances- I had my dirtbike fall off the back of my hauler on the way home… Thankful no major damages but cosmetic damages for sure. So I’m feeling like I just can’t catch a break and there has to be something I’m doing to bring this upon myself . But I feel like I’m a good person, I’m smart, responsible, hard working, but I’m really getting upset that maybe I’m not ? Any insight will be greatly appreciated- hoping to hear everything will be ok… And things will start looking up. My family wants me to love back home to get a “fresh start”. I want to move home because I miss my family so much- but I would feel like I was failing if I moved back there.. Like I couldn’t make it out here and I am giving up.. Any insight on that matter would be great too. Thanks in advance.

    November 24, 2014 at 10:13 am #68322
    rosamundi
    Participant

    Does moving back necessarily have to mean ‘giving up’? Why not see it as making a positive decision to put difficult things behind you and have a fresh start?

    A couple of things you might not have realised you said though, which suggest you find it difficult to really take full responsibility for your own choices:

    “I moved out here with an ex not by choice” – did the ex forcibly make you move? – or did you in fact choose (however reluctantly) to go along with the ex? (I hope it wasn’t forcible, though as you mention domestic violence, maybe it was, in which case, I am very sorry for misunderstanding.)

    “because I am so smart and just need to get experience in the field” – Might you have given off this vibe in interviews? – it would immediately put most employers off. They will want people giving the impression that they will give the company their all, not that they’re out to get experience and then move on to something better. (You might not have meant that, but that’s how it came over here.)

    “because if my current boyfriend didn’t uproot me” – again, did the boyfriend forcibly ‘uproot’ you?

    The speeding ticket bit – I’ve had one too, and it is very tempting to blame the law enforcers for being mean enough to catch you out – but the bottom line is we were the ones that were breaking the law, so we need to accept responsibility for it, and for the consequences. Tough, but true. Sorry.

    Edit – I hope this doesn’t come over too negatively. I’ve been looking back over choices I’ve made in the past, where I have previously tended to blame others for things that I now realise I went along with, so maybe I’m a bit more aware of how easy it is to be blinkered. Don’t beat yourself up about it, but we can’t change how we view things if we haven’t seen them clearly first. I hope you can be kind to yourself, and, if going back home is the right thing for you to do, that you will be able to see it in a positive light, and move forward. Take care.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by rosamundi.
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