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One Complicated Relationship After Another- Time For Change

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  • October 3, 2013 at 2:20 pm #43176
    John
    Participant

    That’s freedom! Way to go Joe.

    Check out, “If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path” by Charlotte Kasl

    If you’re happy being alone and no longer driven by longing, need, or fear and you’re ready to ask yourself what you really want in a mate in terms of values, lifestyles, and goals, seeing others for who they are as opposed to who you need them to be, and be willing to walk away from someone who doesn’t share in what you believe in even if it means being alone for the rest of your life, you’ll find a lot more happiness and joy. That’s confidence. That’s strength. That’s freedom!

    • This reply was modified 11 years, 8 months ago by John.
    October 3, 2013 at 4:06 pm #43181
    Joe
    Participant

    Thanks John. I’m going to order that book. I feel relief and empowered. I’ve got more confidence too. Heck yeah!!!

    October 3, 2013 at 9:25 pm #43201
    Sapnap3
    Participant

    Joe,

    I think i am a girl version of you. the difference is being an Indian girl in this western world, i not only attract emotionally unavailable men but also men with a “fetish”, Being insecure all my life (even now), I felt like the only thing i can offer a man is my body. Never mind the undergrad in Finance and Economics which i got whilst working 2 jobs. I still look at some men and think “oh he is too good looking for me” or “oh he is too smart for me”. Unfortunately, for us Asian kids who grew up parents who would never show affection, this is a very normal way of thinking.

    I hope to get where you are in my life soon. i hope to ask “what can they offer me?”. for right now, i am mending my broken heart and also growing. I know I screwed up a lot in my previous relationship and I want to make sure that when and if i find that worthy man, I am my best-est self.

    Namaste dear brother.

    October 3, 2013 at 10:33 pm #43203
    Joe
    Participant

    Sapnap3,

    It took me a long time to finally arrive at this moment in time. I’ve been through so many complicated relationships that I finally made a decision to seek help. I would suggest that you go through therapy and see what is the root of your problem. From what you have told me, it looks like we have a similar cause that led us to seek love in all the wrong places. I am also going through energy work. It’s called Polarity. It’s a combination of Reiki and acupressure. On a subtle level, we tend to store what we believe in our bodies. So, I’m trying to clear it out of my system.

    Also, we truly have to love ourselves for who we are. I’ve finally accepted the face that I am “who” I am and it’s awesome to be me. This self love is the key to changing what we project out to people. Until we do this, then people with “issues” will continue to show up.

    You will get there. From what you have shared with me, any guy would be lucky to have you in his life. You have to believe this as well. Email me if you want to chat: jchang436@gmail.com.

    -Joe

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