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On the brink of a panic attack

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  • February 22, 2016 at 1:33 pm #96804
    Dina
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,

    Im having a difficult day and need some support..so I’m coming here.

    My mom, sister and my sisters baby are in town. My sister has an autoimmune disorder and her 1 year old child is sick. I wanted to take them to the airport today but my boss said no. Im a contractor and have only been at my new job for a month, so I can understand why she said no, however I am concerned that perhaps she sees me as a slacker. I wouldnt have even asked if I wasnt so concerned about my sister and the baby and how hard it will be for them to do everything themselves.

    I also had an appointment today and found out I need a surgery that requires 1-2 weeks of recovery. I dont get PTO at my new job and its way too early in my employment to ask for such a significant amount of time off, so I’m going to wait for at least 6 months before I do, which means another 6 months of pain.

    I know there is nothing anyone can say here to fix my problems, but some well wishes and positivity would be greatly appreciated. I’m really struggling between concern for my family, my health, and my new job. My anxiety is through the roof and writing here is all I can do to keep the panic at bay while I wait for the work day to end.

    As always, Thank you

    -Dina

    • This topic was modified 8 years, 9 months ago by Dina.
    February 22, 2016 at 2:11 pm #96808
    Aingeal
    Participant

    HI Dina,

    You are my first post at tinybuddha. I had a down day as well, and decided to come here for an uplift that I always find in the articles and sharing.

    Your desire to be there to help your sis and her baby says beautiful things about you and your caring nature. Though your boss was unable to release you, at least you made the effort. It is very hard and tough reality how jobs can ofetn take over precedence to those we love and want to be present for. Sorry you were unable to do what you had hoped.

    I am reading “Meditation for Beginners” by Pema Chodron, and I come here today, and see a quote of hers on first article I read. Love the coincidences! I am reminded of her by your predicament of having a new job, contractor status, needing surgery that causes you pain until you get it and family needing your help too….life is so full of challenges, Yes? I often feel overwhelmed by my own circumstances too. In short, Pema says in the book I am currently in,. that even as we gain wisdom and inner growth, our lives do not cease to be challenging. Far from it. That is all part of our experience as human beings. It does not get to a place of utter peace, as I had once hoped and prayed for. My point is simply, know you are not alone, a total stranger feels for you and all that has landed on your back. I am sending you good “ju ju” and energy, in hopes of a better and lighter day tomorrow.

    I came here today because I am in pain over my own worries, and you know what? I found it more helpful to reach out to you and let you know I understand how you feel. I think so many times, its easy to think we are alone in our struggles. your not, Hugs

    Aingeal

    February 22, 2016 at 2:18 pm #96811
    Dina
    Participant

    Hi Aingeal,

    Thank you so much for your post. It really does help more than anything to know that I’m not alone in this.

    I’m sorry for whatever struggles you are facing. I know we all cary different burdens, and that life is not an easy journey, but I’m confident things will work out in the end for us both.

    And, if nothing else, know that you changed someone’s life today. Just your kind words and the fact that you reached out made a huge difference in my day and my ability to cope.

    Hugs to you too.

    February 22, 2016 at 7:40 pm #96825
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Dina:

    I am sorry you had such a tough day, that you didn’t get the time off and that you have to (Do you really have to..?) live with pain for six months. I am so saddened to read this!

    When you are calm, can you gather some information you don’t currently have, think outside the box for a way to have that surgery as soon as possible. Find a way… there has to be a way.

    anita

    February 23, 2016 at 9:12 am #96894
    Dina
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    As always, thank you for your support and kindness. I ended up speaking with my boss and it looks like I can get the surgery in April/May, which is significantly better than expected. I am much more calm today.

    Thank you for checking in. I hope all is well with you

    February 23, 2016 at 10:06 am #96898
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Dina:

    You are welcome and thank you for asking. Thought about fear: every one of us has to find a way to live with fear. I deal with fear daily. I am learning about it, quite amazing: what is real danger and what is not, when is fear indeed … optional.

    Please do post again anytime!

    anita

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