Obsessions, Compulsions and how to stop!?

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This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 9 months ago by Anonymous.

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February 24, 2016 at 1:03 pm #97057
Dina
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Hi Everyone,

First things first…happy Wednesday! We have all made it to the middle of the week. YAY US 🙂

Alright now to my bizarre dilemma. I’m not entirely sure what category this falls under so I just kind of picked “emotional mastery” because I felt it applied more than the others.

I’ve noticed in the last year and a half I’ve become an obsessive shopper, but not in the conventional way. I actually have hated shopping since the dawn of time, but for the last year and a half, I obsessively buy organizational tools.

Every day I think up something else I desperately need to have. Decorative boxes from Michaels for storage. A book shelf (I have like 3 books with me here..). Extra cabinets to install in my bathroom. Supplies for cooking…and a box for them (I cook never). Make up (which I hardly ware). Make up boxes (for the stupid amounts of makeup I own and never use). Trinkets from the dollar store. Just the most random crap ever.

The weirdest thing is that I am completely convinced that they are necessary to my life and I cant stop thinking about them until I buy it. Then the next day it’s something else. It never ends, which is weird considering I live in a nice home and really have all my needs. What is this? Why am i doing this?

It started with my ex and I figured it was because he never spent time with me, so I had a lot of free time on my hands which ended in me shopping. Could have something to do with stress?

Any ideas? Would like to get to the bottom of it…while I’m a relatively cheap shopper, at some point it’s just wasting money hah
- This topic was modified 8 years, 9 months ago by Dina.
February 24, 2016 at 1:35 pm #97061

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Dina:

My thinking on this: Shopping for organizational tools so to organize items you own is about decreasing clutter and confusion and increasing neatness and clarity. When you place an item in a box it is safe there and so are you. You know where it is and can access it. There is safety in that. Organizing, decreasing clutter and increasing order: there is safety in order.

anita

February 24, 2016 at 9:13 pm #97157

Magalie
Participant

Dear Dina,

I am suffering from compulsions too.

It’s because we’re bottling up our feeling.

There seems to be some unresolved issue going
on with your ex. .

Why is being in control so important to you?
What are you so afraid of?

Own your feelings, open up, talk to friends and a therapist and it will get better.

Take care

xxx
Magalie

February 25, 2016 at 2:57 am #97181

Matty
Participant

G’Day Dina,

I agree with Anita, with organisation comes the knowledge that everything has it’s place, where you know it’s safe and waiting for you. Right now, by posting here, your mind is trying to ‘consciously’ figure out what it’s been up to ‘unconsciously’. You mention your ex, so reflect on the circumstances when you began buying ‘crap’ back then, is there a pattern? Right now, try to step outside of yourself, look around yourself and within yourself and do a manual check; is it work? what’s happening at work? Is it because of this……that….? Maybe you will notice something a miss. It could also be a preemptive. Maybe you’re worried about something and you are buying these things as not a way to organize but a way to distract yourself from whatever reality your not consciously aware of?
What do you think?

Sincerely,
Matty

February 25, 2016 at 9:16 am #97200

Dina
Participant

Hey guys,

I just dont know..

Generally all my problems are around the people I date, however my current boyfriend is wonderful. Theres some stress with the family but I’m not living there so that shouldnt be it. Work is tough but thats nothing new. I have some health stuff happening but I cant imagine its that.

Maybe it’s because I feel like I have so little control in my life. Im a contractor so I could be fired at any time. In a relationship you never know if someone will blindside you and leave (he wont but you get the idea). I live with housemates so my home isnt exactly my space. My family has all kinds of medical problems that I cant help with, and I have medical problems I cant control, along with my anxiety.

Maybe organizing and spending my own money are the only things I feel that I can control ?

February 25, 2016 at 9:57 am #97205

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Dina:

I think so, you need to have a sense that you are in control of something! You are not in control over how long a contract will last, if it will be renewed..You have no control over your family members’ health problems… or your own. You have little control over the different spaces in your home, how they are used, who comes in and out. So you make an area where you do have control: “Here is where I put my makeup. Here it is. I know where it is because I put it there… and it stays there!

We are all afraid. Because danger is real. We try not to see it, to build safe houses where we can be safe ….safer, make laws so we are safe… safer, order people around, control people so we are …safer. Make more and more money so to be safer. So much of what people do is chasing that feeling of safety, only danger is real. When we think about it, we notice it and get scared. But it is there whether we think of it or not. It takes courage to realize life is dangerous and all we can do is increase our statistical chances to live a healthy, safer life.

anita
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