Home→Forums→Tough Times→Nothing's Going Well and Depressed
- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years ago by
Marki.
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March 26, 2015 at 6:52 pm #74504
AikiBen
ParticipantHey,
Yep, you figured right. I’m afraid that’s the way it is. I know, it’s a bummer isn’t it! And yes, it’s hard at first but after a while you’ll be glad you did it. Just so you’re ready for it, you’ll also fall back into the hole often at first, but each time it gets easier to get out and with time you’ll be climbing mountains rather than caving hehe. You’re actually doing well at your age to have the self-awareness that you’ve been kidding yourself all this time – that’s what most people are doing for most of their lives so congrats to you. A few other points:
1. The sooner you can let go of those friends who clearly don’t care the better. I’m talking from experience here. I know you might be afraid of loneliness, but you are still better without them. Such people will drag/keep you down. Make an effort to establish contact with the true friends you said you have.
2. If you really do not want to be at school and you are genuinely not enjoying the course then leave. Yes, I know, I’ve been there, 1 yr into a 4 yr uni course and I didn’t want to be there. I stayed, but now I’m older and wiser and I can now say that anybody in a similar position asking what they should do, it’s a no-brainer to me. I know, all the what-ifs and the ‘but what about all the money and time invested already’, and the ‘but what about getting a job’, but none of that matters if what you are doing is making you miserable.
3. By the sounds of it you have direct access to an excellent teacher. Talk to your brother, open up and share with him. Spend as much time around him as you can. Do something to make it happen, visit him one weekend. Yes, maybe you never visit your brother so it might seem a bit strange, doesn’t matter, do it anyway.
4. Do some vigorous exercise a few times per week. This is important. I know you probably don’t feel like it right now, but it can help a lot.
5. Try doing some mind-body type practice – this is probably the most powerful thing that can help you I’d say. I strongly recommend enrolling yourself in a yoga class for a month. Yes, you will have to invest the money in yourself. Meditation is also very powerful, do that too – that’s free, watch a video on YouTube, don’t get bogged down by all the different types, just start off with the basic one, i.e. sit upright, take a few deep breaths, close your eyes and just follow your breaths as you breathe normally. Just concentrate on the movement of your breath in and out for 15 mins, set an alarm clock. Do this daily. If you want to sleep extra well then do 10min before bed. Often you can go to bed and your body is ready but your mind is still busy thinking about stuff. Meditation puts an end to this.
Forget about not being bothered, feeling too lazy to do it, just do it.
Start where you are. Accept where you are. You can start over right now, you don’t need to go anywhere or change anything outside of you right away. Take your time.
All the best,
Ben.
March 27, 2015 at 12:51 pm #74532Corina
ParticipantI feel the same way now to.
I hate me to.
These mood swings come and go for few days and go away then few months later I will get it again.
Oh well cheers.March 27, 2015 at 3:30 pm #74539Marki
ParticipantWow!
Omg Ben, those are very specific advices. Thank you so much!!
I’ll do as you say, I think meditation might be the priority right now. I clearly have to get my mind off all those ”problems”. And even though I’m scared of it, I’ll cut my friends out of my life. Anyway I need some alone time right now….Thanks again for the list!!
Marki
March 27, 2015 at 10:22 pm #74554kate
ParticipantHello,
Ive been in your spot before amd then i met some very interesting people that made me realize i could have been a lot more interesting my whole life. You are actually at a good point in your life. You need a little spicing up, take this time to develope yourself. Being alone can actually be a good thing for that. Find some interests, learn some skills, listen to music. Although right now family may seem like everything its really not. It may be easier to really find yourself away from them. Will you be going away for college? Which adds to my next point the best and easiest way to change is to change your environment, create a mew box for yourself, new people that you meet dont know who you were in the past you’ll have an opportunity to be natural without predisposed judgments.
Dont be afraid or shameless to feel stupid, your just being vulnerable and thats an important thing not to hide.
Right now it also sounds like you may be in the habit of pitying your situation, which really in the context isnt so bad. When you hear yourself telling yourself how terrible things are or when you get that down feeling snap yourself out of it and say you wont pity yourself anymore. Once you gain control of that habit you will feel a little.better. I never thought of it this way but a lot of how we feel is created and can be changed by disciplining the way we think.
Try to meditate, look into self hypnosis, pull yourself out the well no one will do it for you.
Im saying all this because ive recognized it in myself and am still spending time to fix it but above is what ive learned and has helped me, take away what you can from it.P.s. This is from a phone so please excuse all the typos its a little broke
March 31, 2015 at 5:42 pm #74730Marki
ParticipantNo worries, thanks for the advice!!
I’m will try to meet new people because I find that my friends aren’t really interesting people and like you said I really think I need to spice up my life. That’s probably the main reason why I feel depressed. I found an old diary of mine and I found that there are a lot of things I started doing to spice up my life, but I never kept at it. So does anyone has any advice on how to kind of ”discipline’ myself to keep up on the new things I try. I find it really hard!Thanks 🙂
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