Dear Jessica:

I can’t help doubting your existence. I wrote to you like it is. Look back at what I wrote: IF you are Jessica then you are a positively a very unique young woman. Unique in your THINKING: through all your posts and emails to me, you always pointed correctly to your mother as the one guilty, guilty of abusing you. You KNEW throughout that you are not guilty for any of the abuse inflicted upon you.

This is what is so unique about you. Never have I met an abused child, or an adult that was abused as a child, never, ever did I encounter such in person who CONSISTENTLY and always pointed the finger- correctly- at the abuser and away from themselves, the abused.

The hallmark of child abuse is that the child takes the blame, believes himself or herself to be inadequate, not good enough, somehow guilty, responsible for the abuse inflicted on him or her. And the child sees the parent in the best light (incorrectly) no matter how horrible the abuse. There is always denial and minimization of the abuse by the abused child, and later by the adult who was abused, at least at times. There is none in your posts.

This is what is so very, very one in a million unique about you.

Let me leave you with this, then: you are one in a million. Take this knowing that you are innocent of the abuse you suffer, that indeed, it is true, as you know, that your mother is guilty of abusing you, all the guilt is truly hers.

Now run with this truth= run away from her. There is nothing to hold you there. With that kind of clarity that you have, you can .. make a very good life for yourself. There is NO REASON, none whatsoever, with your clarity, to withstand one more hour, one more day in the presence of a sadistic, violent, highly abusive woman.

Take good care of yourself.
anita

I am here. I mean every word I wrote to you about how unique you are. Take my lack of belief that you are real to indicate how unique you are in your thinking and clarity throughout the many posts and emails I read from you. This kind of clarity, knowing who is innocent (you) and who is guilty (your mother)- this clarity is all you need to make a great life for yourself.

Proof that you are Jessica? In ten years or so, I will google Jessica Toussanit and I would like to read about this special 27 year old woman, a professional, working for the good of herself and others, sharing her story, sharing with others the clarity you had from such an early age, the clarity you wish on so many children and adults still suffering with the delusion that it was their fault,that they were bad children.

Best to you!!!

anita

Thank you, Jessica and good night, you special, unique person!!!

anita

Hey Jessica,

I’m so glad that I came across your post when I’m going through a rough patch myself. I’m normally optimistic about things and try to see the silver lining in every cloud that closes over my happiness, my my courage and optimism have been failing me lately and I’m really worked up about the tough times my family is going through. It’s great how you have been through all the abuse and still manage to be such a strong, amazing personality. Also, it’s great that you write stories. I write too and most of the inspiration for my writing comes from my own experiences or the experiences of my near and dear ones. I’m sure you are already helping a lot of people out there with your warm, inspiring and wise words. Hope you get the best of everything in your life ahead.

Love,
Kaushambi