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Not comfortable traveling yet but friend keeps asking.

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  • June 29, 2021 at 2:09 pm #382152
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Kiken:

    Emotional Mastery is fine. I too live in the U.S. and was fully vaccinated in March, two Pfizer shots- it was a wonderful, liberating experience! It took some time after my vaccination, and after the official CDC easing of regulations, for me to finally feel very comfortable being unmasked outdoors and indoors, in stores and such (where the policy allows vaccinated people to be mask-less). At first I was unsure, but it finally dawned on me that indeed (according to competent sources) the vaccines work! Which means that I am protected (until the next booster shots)- so I don’t need the extra protection of a mask, at least, not against Covid.

    Like you, I live in a right wing area of a liberal state and had a run in with an anti-vaccer. I said something pro-Covid vaccines, and she retorted with: “Are you vaccine-shaming me?” – twice or three times, in a loud, threatening voice. I answered: “No, I was not trying to shame you, I was trying to promote vaccination”.

    Regarding Bill, you wrote: “he asked me if I wanted to do something for the 4th, 5th, 6th. Well, I replied calmly”- but did you tell him clearly that you don’t feel  comfortable about going on any kind of vacation, spending money, etc., just as you explained here, on your thread?

    If you did tell him clearly, did you tell him how much it bothers you to be asked again and again?

    Maybe Bill does not understand your position, which you detailed here, and that’s why he keeps asking.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by .
    June 30, 2021 at 11:36 am #382195
    Kiken
    Participant

    Hi, anita. This post was awaiting moderation for a while, glad it finally cleared.

    No, Bill doesn’t understand my position. I’m surprised because he and I go back over 20 years. The first time he asked me, we had an argument. That was early January. The second time, I responded more calmly, and we discussed it, I thought. I told him I wasn’t ready to get out and mingle, that I wanted to go to cheap and remote destinations. Thing is, I do want to get out of town, I’m tired of my own walls too. Otherwise, I could just say no and be done with it.

    I’ll try to explain this to Bill again, and emphasize that I need more notice.

    June 30, 2021 at 12:18 pm #382197
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Kiken:

    “I do want to get out of town…”- make sure that you are clear about your exact position first, and then communicate to him your exact position in a straightforward way, in a strong but not angry tone of voice (or in a clear, straightforward email, which will give him more time to absorb what you tell him).

    After that, hear/ read what he says. If you give him the opportunity to fully understand your clear position, and then he disregards it.. then you have a serious friendship problem. I hope this is not the case. Let me know.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by .
    June 30, 2021 at 1:45 pm #382199
    pink24
    Participant

    Hi Kiken,

    Sounds super annoying. Time to give Bill the hammer.  “NO” is a complete sentence.

    For some people, if you start explaining, they take that as an “in”, no matter what your history together or how logical your argument is. People want to do what they want to do.

    Try not being annoyed, though. I often find that when I get annoyed at a friend, I’m actually annoyed at myself for wasting my energy and not dropping that hammer in the first place.

    Good luck 🙂

    Pink

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