Hey Spilly booms,

Firstly, awesome job on getting out what sounds like a problem that’s been floating around your mind for a few years. It’s a well known fact that guys are not great at communicating if there’s a problem. So well done for finding the balls to write this in the first place.

I find it interesting that you have looked for “Root causes” as I think this is where your problem stems from. Ever heard of Chakras? It sounds like you have a blockage in your first chakra (Muladhara) which in effect is the root chakra. When this is working correctly, it confirms your existence and your very right to be here. In the same way that a flower cannot stand up right and blossom without having roots, the same principle exists in us. If there is a blockage we have a fear of everything, do not stand up to what we believe in, may not be able to show love, cannot vocalise properly our thoughts and cannot see things clearly. The physical signs of a blocked root chakra is overeating, hoarding or material fixation, greed, sluggish, lazy, tired. There may be a fear of change or an addiction to security. Any of this sound familiar?

There’s nothing wrong with admitting you’re lost, the fun part is the journeys you take to find your home (you). Your body is trying to tell you to reconnect with it, so give it the love it deserves rather than bullying yourself that you’ve never experienced living.
Firstly, look back at the earliest childhood memory with your mum. Did you have a good relationship with her? Were you left with someone else for long periods of time because your mum had to work? There may be the need to re build a connection with your family.
Try different physical activities – weights, yoga, running or dance (yep, there’s nothing wrong with a guy dancing, in fact us girls love a man that can dance). If you find yourself making excuses not to go to a class to try these new activities, explore them on the internet first. There’s lots of videos that teach yoga or dance until you feel confident to take a class. Once you’ve done some exercise, how about booking in for a massage. When you’re doing a fitness class or a massage remind yourself that you’re doing this for you. This will support your roots and start the building of the man and role model you know you can be.

You’ve got a huge amount to gain and not a lot to lose from trying!

Two books that might be of interest – Eastern body Western Mind by Anodea Judith (This explains in great detail the Chakras) and Feel the fear and do it anyway Susan Jeffers.

With love
Karen x

Spilly Booms,

I am sorry for your suffering and truly hope that you will return to read the replies you were given.

My friend, in one of your last sentences you state you ‘see everything that’s wrong…KNOW the ways to fix them…but just…WON’T.’ In this case, I have only one thing to ask you: will you be happy at the end of your life to not have taken action in creating a life of fulfillment?

I’m sorry that this is all I have to offer. I dare not share words that are not asked of. May you find the peace and happiness you seek.

Al