Home→Forums→Relationships→New relationship anxiety
- This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 6 months ago by
Mark.
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June 5, 2017 at 1:55 pm #152026
AnonymousInactiveHi everyone. I recently posted about not being over my ex, but also recently started dating someone.
I’m have all kinds of mixed emotions. I’m really into this guy and we both said we feel a connection and like spending time with eachother. It’s still very fresh, we haven’t even discussed being exclusive, but any time I don’t hear from him for a while, I start to get extreme anxiety and think the worst, ie. he isn’t interested anymore, maybe I said something wrong etc.
I know everything is fine but things that happened to me in my past like dating guys and them just dropping off the face of the earth, have given me such anxiety that he’s going to do the same thing .
How do I stop this? Any advice would help. Thank you!!
June 6, 2017 at 9:58 am #152124AnonymousGuestDear heartbrokengurl:
My advice: attend to that broken heart of yours (I am referring to your user name). This heart is hurting from previous injuries and it gets scared of more pain. Take care of this heart of yours best you can, be kind and gentle to it.
Calm yourself often, talk to yourself as if you were a little girl. Take her hand, attend to her. Ask her: what do you need now? What can I do for you? Let her know she is not alone; that she has someone capable to take care of her (the adult part of you).
anita
June 6, 2017 at 11:52 am #152162
TeresaParticipantFocus on what it is inside of you that you believe may have contributed to your breakup. Next, work on the things about yourself that you do not like, or steal your peace. Once you love and respect yourself you will attract someone who can love and respect you in the way you need. Be mindful and understanding of the reality we live in. Show compassion to yourself and everyone around you. In short, take care of your well-being and peace of mind(without self-cherishing) You’ll soon see that you have the ability to control your emotions and be calm. I did this, and I truly believe that I gave off such strong energy that it attracted my soul mate straight to me.
Teresa
June 12, 2017 at 8:58 am #152778
AmberParticipantHeartbrokengurl:
I experienced the same thing actually. I was new to dating (I was married for about 8 years before) and was having this sudden anxiety hit me out of nowhere. I honestly think it has to do with the way we date nowadays. We text, rarely call each other, and everything is basically online. Also when you start dating most people are “talking” to multiple people and will fall off the planet out of nowhere. It usually means they just found someone they thought were better and fit more with them. It wasn’t until I found a genuine, caring, amazing man that all of those feelings stopped. He texted me right back, wasn’t talking to other females and genuinely cared for me. We both just basically found each other. I think that’ll happen in your case, the anxiety goes away when you found someone who WANTS to actually talk to just you and is interested in you. Good luck.
June 12, 2017 at 3:24 pm #152840
MarkParticipantHey Heartbrokengurl,
I know being in a new relationship can be overwhelming, but in time the anxiety will mellow into comfort if he’s right. I know you are worried the more you fall for him the more he will hurt you. I am the same way. You could let it prevent you from getting closer (which is what I do, but I don’t necessarily advise it) or you can enjoy it! Enjoy the anxiety! You have found someone who you love to spend time with! You’re so lucky!
What also has helped me it to take a step back and look at dating from a more neutral perspective now. I have come to realize that most girls have at least one other guy who they flirt with or keep around to make themselves feel good. A lot of guys do, too. Maybe just looking at dating with this more realistic perspective so if you find out this new guy does have another girl, or he is not interested, then it won’t hurt as much. And if he is all in with you, all right!
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