Dear cali sister:

I know all that, from what she shared, this is how it occurred to me, long ago, that I misunderstood you. From what your sister shared it was obvious that you were very, very considerate of her and not at all the histrionic person I thought you were (a projection of my mother into you, an inaccurate projection). I understood that I was wrong long ago. I thought about sending you an apology post on your old thread, but felt weird about bringing to life that thread after it’s been dormant for so long (since June 2018).

I wasn’t blaming you at all this evening, my concern was for you– I was afraid she will get angry at you this evening, the last thing you need. My secondary concern writing to you was for your sister, but my primary- in the context of my last post to you- was a concern for you.

I was wrong, thinking you were like my mother, and your sister is wrong as well, suggesting (in the past, in one of the posts I re-read today) that you are like.. her/ your mother. We both projected our mothers into you, cali sister. I regret that and apologize for it, and I mean it most sincerely, as always.

No, you are not evil. You are a good person, I have no doubt whatsoever that you are.

How are you feeling now???

anita

Dear cali sister:

Yes, I will communicate with your sister about this- I thought this same thing before I read your recent post. I knew I was wrong before but I was uncomfortable looking deeper into it. Now I am, because of our exchange. So yes, I will- Monday when she posts to me next, as she said she would. I will tell her Monday that I was wrong and explain it, that she and I were wrong about you.

You are  not causing any harm to your parents, really! After all, there was always some harm your mother was complaining about and your father agreeing with her or accommodating her histrionics (she is histrionic, by the way, like my mother!)

I am on my way out to the tap room, and will keep the computer on, will check it when I return in a couple of hours or so. Post anytime, I do care about you, I really do. I want you to be okay!

anita

Dear  cali sister:

Taproom, one word- a place where they serve beers, wine and ciders, no mixed drinks, a local pub. I drink red wine only. I am very tired, had a very meaningful conversation with you since you started this thread, glad you did. I am learning new things, important things these very days, it feels special. I hope you are asleep now, it is close 10 pm your time.  to read from you tomorrow morning, anytime you want to. And thank you for saying you care for me too. This is special.

anita