Dear Steph:
I think that the reason for your current dissatisfaction is in your first sentence: “I grew up very poor and as a child was always told to study and work hard in order to be successful and happy”-
It is very common for parents who are financially wanting, dissatisfied, to teach their children that wealth is The Way. They don’t teach any other way.
You learned by your very experience that the ability to make good enough money is not The Way. And so, it is time to find ways not looked at before.
Keep doing what you are doing now, the job, and look elsewhere, then, will you? Where do you think you can possibly find satisfaction?
anita