Wow Amanda. It’s like your whole post was written by me! I’ve just registered with this site so that I can reply to you 🙂
SO-I’ve been generally feeling the same for many many years. I didn’t get the best start in life (parents completely disowned me for no reason whatsoever, I got bullied at school, raped as a teenager), and now as an adult I am CONSTANTLY over analyzing, over thinking and going crazy in my own head trying to work out WHY WHY WHY?! I’ve just read a blog on here about how you should just accept the “Why’s” and actually think “How” and “What” which I found quite helpful.

I too recently got the 6 pack abs I always wanted. Did it make me happy? No. In fact it’s probably made me worse with the sheer disappointment of how it HASNT made me happy! I’ve seen the other post you wrote-I too am now constantly thinking about carbs, protein, when to eat, what to eat, etc etc. My knowledge of health and fitness is great, but sometimes I wish I didn’t know so much, so that I don’t have to think too much. You know what I mean? I was never overweight, but I am now in the best shape of my life. I love the feeling I get when I work out, but just like you, I never feel satisfied or happy. I moved to Florida from England almost 2 years ago. I married the man of my dreams last year and everything was fine……until I realized I’m STILL not happy. In fact I’m pretty depressed right now because I got what I dreamed of, but feel no different. Over many months of thinking, I think really it’s just starting a whole new life in the USA for me. My friends aren’t around me anymore, and I feel terribly lonely. Same as you (again) I stopped drinking for my (mainly mental) as well as physical wellbeing, but all my “new” American friends are huge drinkers. That makes me feel incredibly lonely & back to square one (again).

I’m very spiritual and believe in positive thinking etc, my problem at the moment is life is very overwhelming to me and I tend to shut myself away in a room. I try not to go outside much at the moment because I am extremely sensitive and I don’t like what I see out there right now. I KNOW I need to surround myself with positive people, but I don’t know how to drive a car yet (I’m 31) and so I cant get around. I feel like I’ve lost all my independence and I don’t even know where to start in fixing all the issues I have at the moment!

So it was a great comfort to read your post & know that I’m not alone with the disappointing 6 pack thing (haha). And Matt’s reply is wonderful too. WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!!! I’ve been looking into volunteering at an old people’s home as I LOVE making other people happy. I am also writing down all the “happy” times in my life, and trying to work out WHAT it was that made me happy. You have to know what you want in life in order to be happy. Sometimes I think I need more items on my list.

Anyway, like I say, I’m hiding indoors a lot at the moment! So I’m here if you need a chat. Sending love & hugs, Laura xxxx

Laura,

I read your post and I got the urge to register and reply to tell you that the description of your experiences speak right into my heart and thoughts. I went through the exactly same things and had a very similar life trajectory-the only difference being that when I met the love of my life, at the age of 35, I did not move to sunny Florida- rather dark Sweden. The realization that even meeting the love of my life didnt make me a happier person came with another realization: I moved to a place where its dark and freezing cold for half of the year at least. Terrible combination for someone who comes from very warm climates.
What actually prompt me to write was your statement regarding not feeling like going outside, because you are sensitive and dont like what you see around you- I have been struggling sooo much with this! And it has never happened to me before, so I m quite puzzled. I ve lived in a few countries, quite different to each other and never felt so disappointed by what i see around me. Which doesnt help getting integrated here- even when the weather allows it, which is not so often, going out makes me feel i wish I had stayed in. So this is what I do. Would love to exchange thoughts on that.
Saying that, I really admire the fact that you seem decided to stay and give it a proper try! I hope everything goes well! And remember, at least you are in a sunny place.
I recently found a brilliant pilates center. Its basically the only thing that gets me out of the house these days ( I used to be super active and social) and I find people tend to smile and chat a bit more there. Even if it is only a few days a week, it does make a difference-
Finding an international community-suppose in Floriday there must be a few internationals, will also help. Every time i settled in a new country, this is what kept me going and made me thrive: to have people around who are open minded, have similar experiences and know what you mean when you say what you say.
OK, thats all for now- good luck to all of us who are struggling to find meaning and satisfaction in life- it aint easy,ladies and gents…but it aint impossible either.