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need help from you as friends….

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  • This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 11 years ago by Al.
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  • #46880
    MyStery Girl…
    Participant

    hello, i am 24 year old fat girl,i am architecture student from Mumbai, India. i still not complete ma degree and still not working, single fat ugly girl.i lost my dad last year and after that i lost my confidence,courage and everything.i started hating myself.n ultimately now my surrounding also do same and today i don’t have any single person to talk except my mom.my brother ,friends,relatives everyone hates me. everyone started bullying me,so i refused to surrender before them so they think that i am very arrogant girl with lot of ego even if i am not able to complete my college and still not working.
    how to come out from this and start all over again.before dad’s demise i was happy go lucky girl,helping friend so i was very lovable n wanted girl in my family n friends but now nobody is there for me. if i will not come out from it before 26th December i will quit ma life. please help me. i need help from you guys.

    #46885
    Purpose
    Participant

    hi girl… im sure you are a beautiful person inside out….
    i would suggest you to talk to your mother…or any friend or even aquaintence about your problem.. keep interacting girl… dont close yourself in a room n think negative…
    nobody is perfect.. we all have flaws ….. imperfections are welcomed and loved by people…. how many times could you relate to a so called perfect person..
    stop communicating to dose who u thing judge you… make new friends…talk to new people…
    look at your mother… dont you want her to be proud of you….. we all go through pain in life..but thats not the end of life… u.. me.,..or anyone who in this world is living ..have to make it through pain to live… ups and downs are part of life…. is your mother’s love conditioned,,,..? your color body type…external features etc makes her cook less or love u any less../? those who are doing this to you are projecting their own insecurities about their life and themselves… such bullying n negative attitude has nothing to do with you.,… you have to keep such people out of ur life…say for sometime atleast so that you can heal yourself…….
    you know its ok to be weak sometime in life..start accepting yourself..then expect others to do so dear… life and people are sometimes tough..but that dosent mean you have to get tough on yourself too…release the negativity.. search and read the topics relevent to your situations on Tinybuddha…or net..or in books..
    take a hobby and work on it…. start meditation and you will be back on loving yourself….
    Trust yourself and God….
    and also….
    I would suggest you to PLEASE TAKE PROFFESIONAL HELP

    ALL will be fine… trust yourself…. you are God’s best creation dear…

    #46886
    MyStery Girl…
    Participant

    hey thanks friend.it is so nice of you dear. it means lot to me. thanks for your suggestion , i will surely work on it…

    #46923
    Jade
    Participant

    First of all very sorry about your father. Losing a parent is a very difficult thing to deal with, it takes a long time to grieve and come to terms with that kind of loss. I’m sure your father would not want you to hate yourself as a result of his death, he would want you to be happy and loving life!

    Good for you for standing up to those who are bullying you! Don’t listen to them when they say you’re arrogant, that’s just their way of saying you won’t quietly put up with their cruelty. You are strong and capable, and please make sure you talk to someone about having suicidal thoughts.

    #46932
    Al
    Participant

    Don’t give up. Your father would not want you to. I am sorry that your family treats you so poorly but please do your best to remain a compassionate person. Remember that they, too, are suffering beings living their lives the best way they know how, that perhaps they were not given enough love growing up, that they were not taught compassion among other things which has resulted in their chaotic behaviors. In a sense, they are innocent because they do not know any better. With this understanding it is possible to draw patience to better handle your peace of mind.

    The most important thing you can do now (aside from continuing your schooling) is to take care in how you react to their behaviors. Reacting negatively to their actions will actually add more to the harm already there. Instead, do your best to respond positively. This, however, does not mean that you must cater to their every needs. It means that you must consider which action to take which will yield the most positive response or minimize negativity. Keep a positive attitude at all times (or try to) and become someone strong which may change your family member’s attitude towards you. When you find it difficult to give positive feedback, try to imagine the suffering that person is undergoing. Recall how much they mean to you which may help you in helping them.

    Lastly, like I tell many of our members in this forum, do not expect instant results. Many similar situations take a while to make better. Also, it’s okay not to do all of this at once. If you find it easier, take it once small step everyday until you’re able to do it all. In the process, make sure to give yourself some time for peace. Find yourself an area where you can clear your mind and re-energize. This will help greatly as well.

    So please, keep fighting. Your father’s there fighting with you. You’re not alone!

    Best Regards,
    Al

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