Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Need Genuine Advise! I am lonely and helpless.
- This topic has 19 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 11 months ago by Anonymous.
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December 11, 2017 at 4:35 am #181493AnonymousGuest
Dear JeanKhoo:
You shared a bit of your primary school experience. For me to understand you better I ask: can you share about your experience as a child living with your parents, growing up in your family- how was that like, what were the relationships between you and your parents then and now?
anita
December 11, 2017 at 5:36 am #181501JeanKhooParticipantDear Anita,
My parents treat me well and I have a close relationship with them. But one thing about them that I don’t really appreciate is their over-protectiveness. When I was younger, they did not allow me to hang out with friends often as they were worried. When I was in primary school, my mom often asked the teacher and my classmates about my behaviors at school. However, most of the time that they told my mom about the bad things of me. Then when I came back from school, she started scolding me without giving me any chance to explain. Sometimes, when I told her what had happened to me between me and my friends in school, she would think its my fault. I only realized all these when I grew older. Sometimes I wonder whether these incidents caused me to become quieter and low self esteem. When I was younger, my parents decided almost everything for me. But still, I have a close relationship with my parents now.
December 11, 2017 at 6:49 am #181515AnonymousGuestDear JeanKhoo:
1. You wrote that when you were younger your parents did not allow you to hang out with friends because they were worried. What were they worried about?
2. You wrote that your mother asked your classmates about your behaviors at school: she asked children in your classroom about your behavior? What did they tell her and what did she scold you about?
anita
December 11, 2017 at 7:13 am #181523JeanKhooParticipantDear Anita,
1) They worried about my safety as I was only around 10-11 years old that time.
2) They will say things like I am talkative, always talked about celebrities stuff and gossip in school (I slightly did but they over exaggerated to my mom), that I was so fierce and scolding people (Which I did not). Teachers also claimed that I like to gossip based on what she heard from my classmates about my behavior, and claimed that I get angry easily (I have this unfriendly face which born naturally)… and told me to behave myself.
December 11, 2017 at 7:31 am #181529AnonymousGuestDear JeanKhoo:
I don’t understand, this is why I ask further, regarding #1: you wrote that your parents did not allow you to hang out with friends because they were worried about your safety, when you were about 10-11. Were they worried that other children will hurt you? If so, how were they worried that other children will hurt you?
Regarding #2: if your mother believed the other children that you were “so fierce and scolding people”- and she scolded you for that, that means she wanted you to be different from “fierce and scolding people”. How did she want you to be?
anita
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