I never imagined what my action could lead to, if I knew I probably wouldn’t but… it was so difficult at the time, they were so cruel before HR intervened, in the end I didn’t have a choice

Hi anita,

You got it this time. I am now better equipped to deal with such situations. I wasn’t back then. Also, if it is a single occasion it is one thing, if it is every day, for 8 hours a day, for months, from all (yes all – sheep put wolves masks to not be eaten too). This cannot be your everyday life. I don’t want to go back into details because it gets really ugly, the comments they made and what they insinuated about me. Dirty sexual, humiliating, mocking, disturbing, ugly.

As I mentioned, we had an “open door policy” in the company. I didn’t bypass my manager as I didn’t go to his manager. I went to HR as the policy allowed me. Yes in theory the distance between manager and employee normally grows as the employee goes to HR behind his back but there was no violation on my part.

The past is the past and cannot be changed. I just stepped on a mine without expecting the size of explosion it would cause.

Anyway, if I was wrong to contact HR and if I was inefficient in standing for myself, do you think that the actions that followed towards me were proportional to my mistake? Honestly, HR was my only ally in this nightmare, even alleviating the situation by imposing measures to keep a good tone. Of course they could not be present at all times but I could tell when my colleagues were remediated.

Thanks for all your advise. I don’t wish to anyone to experience this as it cannot be described to someone who has not been in that same situation. It is unthinkable what people are capable of and unimaginable if not experienced.
Like Pete said, I should now focus on the future, and how I plan to fix this. I am doing everything possible from my side, using only positive messages to people. I have really put that story behind my back and looking for a fresh clean start. Hoping for one.

I don’t understand why you keep making me go back to this situation and make me question the lessons I have already learned.

You can never do enough for someone who has decided they don’t like you.

Some situations in life are inevitable and sometimes we don’t have a choice, even if we are cornered to act against our best interest. We can only try to understanding what it was and not if it could be prevented. Some things cannot be prevented.

I believe in myself that at the given time I have done what I believe was the right thing to do for the given moment.

I am so sorry… I really am sorry and regret with my whole being… I had it all and it went down the drain because of stupid decisions I made… I really wish I could fix this, I truly regret…
I never should quit being the simple service desk person where I was happy and satisfied, to go to that careerist team of schemers, I made that move for the wrong reasons and my life turned upside down and cannot get back on track since then, 4 years ago…
I don’t need a miracle, I wish I could be given a second chance to put my life back on track

Dear anita,

Did you selectively miss my post where I wrote that the miracle part was a figurative speech? Or the last part that I don’t need an actual miracle but a real second chance? Do you seriously think that I imagine miracles and magic spell after the thorough analysis of the consequences of my actions and the actions of other?? Do you not see that the world of wage labor is totally collapsing worldwide and it is getting harder and harder to get hired, waiting for months, do you not follow such newsletters?
If you pretend to be the community psychologist… I wish no one to experience workplace harassment and SHAME on people who say that the victims of harasment or any kind of abuse “deserve” or “let it happen” or “aren’t assertive enough”.
In fact I am PROUD of the way and time frames I handled my behaviour during the bullying period and was surprisingly flexible in recovery according to the therapist I saw then. DO YOU KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT COMMIT SUICIDE IN SUCH SITUATIONS???
Do you know that when you are out of this there are not only health consequences but also consequences to your professional life and your reputation as BAD employee which are much harder to beat than the normal competition for jobs???
If you are a fan of modenr psychotherapy that puts all responsibility in the person for absolutely all events in their life, well that’s a beautiful thought but as much as unrealistic as “making miracles” happen. I’m sorry but only a maniac can think that they can “assert” events in their life or other people. Yes I can establish the boundary when invaded and take what I want and belongs to me. See me assert to your unempathetic and impractical lack of advise post.
Is there a thread that you allow someone else to be the lead advisor?