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Need a little advice from wives: I'm starting to disconnect from from husband.

Home→Forums→Relationships→Need a little advice from wives: I'm starting to disconnect from from husband.

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  • February 14, 2016 at 10:13 am #96022
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Laura:

    I concur with you that it is not a good idea to bring a child into this marriage because it is better “to wait to offer them something more that what we have/ are now”- and by offering them more, I mean offering the child a stable, calm, safe, loving home, aka relationship between the child’s parents.

    Tips to keep your love alive? Yes: schedule a meeting between the two of you every single morning, a meeting before all others, aimed at bringing up issues and talking about them with EAR: empathy, Assertiveness, Respect. Do so with a fresh, pre-stressed morning brains.

    anita

    February 14, 2016 at 10:56 am #96024
    HippieChick
    Participant

    One of the most meaningful quotes I’ve ever heard is, paraphrasing here, that you can’t ever be truly happy with another person until you’re happy with yourself. It sounds to me that you need to turn all your focus inward for a little while and figure out what makes you happy separate from him. You mention changing him, controlling him and several comments that lead me to believe you gave negative thoughts and beliefs about marriage in general (just an FYI, “most” marriages are NOT “a little dead”). If you’re, even subconsciously, taking these thoughts into your interactions with your HUSBAND then you’re not going to have great results! And this statement “most times I’d rather do something else than “it” but understand it has to be done sometimes” really bothers me…sex in a marriage shouldn’t be looked at as a chore. I’d recommend a marriage counselor to help you sort through these feelings and issues even if he doesn’t go.

    I wish you good luck. Good relationships definitely go through ups and downs and require work. I commend you for recognizing the problem early and looking for a solution!

    February 15, 2016 at 8:27 am #96060
    Soul-searcher
    Participant

    I will have to agree with whats been said. Please do not bring a child into the situation you are both in, you have to first try and fix the problems you have first rather than trying to fix it with a baby. I cannot talk from personal experience as i have had no children, but from what i have heard from family members and friends is that if you and your partners bond is not strong then a baby will pull you even further apart. You need to talk with him and make him understand how you are feeling, you are newly weds sort of speak, you shouldnt be feeling like this..not this soon anyway. If you love one another then you will try and save what you have, love is so precious and unfortunately its one of those things that can be ugly and beautiful at the same time. Good luck to you x

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