Dear alyahB_:

Reads to me that your sister needs what she needs and goes about getting it, not considering or caring about what you need. It is a Lose-Win relationship with her, Lose for you, Win for her.

Win for her short term. Long term it is not a win, for her either.

To help her long term, set her free from her short term Win, that is, staying with you, having you pay for her, and so on. Set her free so that she will have the opportunity to stand up on her own two feet.

After you assert yourself with her, telling her to leave, and you feel guilty about it, remind yourself that you are doing what you can to help her long term.

anita