Home→Forums→Spirituality→My rejection of Christianity
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PearceHawk.
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May 6, 2017 at 9:34 am #148261
TannhauserBlockedIn another post I spoke about my experience of a spontaneous and ongoing Kundalini awakening. I now see the truths inherent in Hinduism, and I see the lies inherent in my own faith, Christianity.
Christianity teaches nothing but falsities and lies. It plagiarises stories from Pagan traditions, and then demonises those traditions. It taught me NOTHING about Kundalini. The only time it ever mentions serpents it demonises them. It also mentions NOTHING about chakras or energy centres in our bodies. But these things are FACTS. They exist. I know they exist through personal experience, and the Hindu Vedas validate my experience. Christianity can only use its most predictable and facile ruse: yes, it demonises them.
I now know that reincarnation is the truth, for if Hinduism was correct about Kundalini then it stands to reason it will be right about other things as well. I now know there is no resurrection, and there was never a person or god called Jesus Christ. He was never part of my experience, despite being a follower of the Christian faith and serving in his church for well over twenty years. He could have made himself known. He could have said something. But he didn’t, and this has resulted in the collapse of my entire belief system. I now feel completely lost.
I now reject my former faith, because it did not equip me for any of this. Instead, it allowed me to labour under a delusion, and its scriptures and its clerics were useless in the face of this Eastern spiritual influence. Basically, Christianity is the biggest con-trick ever devised. Like its demonic twin Capitalism, Christianity invents a problem and then offers a self-perpetuating solution. In place of Capitalism’s money trick, Christianity invented the sin trick. Both contribute greatly to the weight of suffering that already sits on humanity’s shoulders. Both ensure you and I will never feel good enough and will never truly be happy. Both ensure we live in a constant state of worry and low self-esteem.
Best wishes,
Tannhauser
May 6, 2017 at 11:36 am #148285
AnonymousGuestDear Tannhauser:
A very powerful post and new thread (as well as your reply on another’s thread). I am energized by your assertive, confident, clear and straightforward expression. Your courage is palpable, tangible and refreshing, as always.
You are very clear, Tannhauser. You know what you believe and you are expressing it, telling it like it is.
I hope others will respond soon enough.
anita
May 7, 2017 at 11:07 am #148383TannhauserBlockedWell, the truth is Christians absolutely stink at spirituality. They have very closed minds, and if your experiences are beyond their mindset and worldview, they simply label them as demonic.
You have no idea what an absolutely shitty position I am in right now. I am not just a bad Christian, I am a Christian who is apparently dabbling with something evil. At one stage during this unbidden and uninvited Kundalini process, I awoke at night to find my hand doing spontaneous kriyas. On another occasion my arms were lifted spontaneously above my head. Now read the following extract from a website called ‘Christians Together’:
“It is never appropriate for any follower of Christ to ‘hiss’ or make any kind of uncontrolled movements“
How do you think that makes me feel? Is it any wonder I am rejecting my own beliefs?
Best wishes,
Tannhauser
May 7, 2017 at 11:18 am #148387AnonymousGuestDear Tannhauser:
Regarding that quote, my goodness! I had tics (Tourette Syndrome) since five or six and still experience “uncontrolled movements” – tics, that is. I used to believe I was indeed not appropriate for having tics. But now I know these tics are not outside the human experience, and – similar to your Kundalini experience- my tics (motor and vocal) were unbidden and uninvited.
This sentence is the opinion of some. It is not true. And no, it is no wonder to me, Tannhauser that you are rejecting your own past beliefs. I only hope you come to a place of peace about this rejection.
anita
May 14, 2017 at 10:55 am #149399TannhauserBlockedI am not just rejecting Christianity, I am eschewing the spiritual path altogether.
It brought it home to me this weekend just how horrible spiritual awakening is. There’s nothing nice about it. You’re up and down like a roller coaster. When you’re down, you crave a ‘higher vibration’, and when you’re up, you begin isolating yourself from family and the things you think will ‘ground you’. It all just becomes background noise. But then it gets worse, because if you stay in a ‘high vibrational state’ for very long, you become de-realised and depersonalized. I have now chosen to stay grounded for as long as possible. Plenty of meat and alcohol for me.
I see them fuckers in church and it makes me laugh. They all want to be ‘close to God’, yet the brainless twats have no idea what that means. It means mental breakdown, psychosis, depersonalization, de-realization, hospitalization, anxiety and depression. I am so fucking angry that this has happened to me. Really angry and really pissed off.
Tannhauser
May 15, 2017 at 10:44 am #149525AnonymousGuestDear Tannhauser:
Being up and down like a roller coaster, either craving the ups or, when up, isolating, experiencing de-realization and depersonalization is a very difficult experiencing as it goes on and on and on.
For you, this spiritual awakening has been a very painful experience. No wonder you are angry. As you stated many times, you did not ask for these experiences, did not invite those, and understandably you are “angry that this has happened to (you). Really angry”-
I can feel your anger.
anita
May 15, 2017 at 11:37 am #149539TannhauserBlockedHello Anita,
The last few days have been absolutely dreadful. I have been getting terrible pressure in my head which has caused feelings of de-realization. The only way I have coped is by consuming a large amount of alcohol and painkillers. There is no other help. Everyone talks crap on this subject. The New Agers use such spacey language that I have trouble understanding what on Earth they are trying to say, and the Christians just opt for the easy solution of labelling my experiences demonic.
This is truly the worst experience of my entire life. I think it is fair to say that it will ultimately see me off. My mind is very distressed, and all I want to do is sleep. It is like trying to play a game without knowing the object and rules of it. Here’s the truth. Some people, such as the religious play-actors (commonly called priests) would have you believe that God is Love. I’ll tell you what that statement is: pure bullshit. It (I use the word It instead of He or She) merely wishes to advance Its agenda through trial and error. If It loses a few souls to suicide along the way, It considers it collateral damage. It is the advancement of the collective that’s important, not individual souls. So this ‘Force’ pre-selects a few unfortunate souls to suffer the most traumatic experience possible in the life of a human being: spiritual awakening. Don’t believe the childish crap put out by infantile Christians that God wants ‘personal relationships’ with people. It doesn’t. It wants Its pet project, planet Earth, to evolve. Humans are of secondary importance. And now, because Its planet is so fucked up and in danger of total annihilation, It wants to wake people up. That would be fair if everyone woke up at the same time, but it isn’t going to be like that. For a few unfortunate souls such as myself, their lives are going to turn into a torturous living nightmare as they try to deal with two realities at once. While everyone else basically carries on as normal. Not very fair, is it?
Yes Anita, I am fucking angry. My life was never a bed of roses before, but I could live with it and cope with it. I can’t cope anymore.
Best wishes,
Tannhauser
May 15, 2017 at 12:24 pm #149545AnonymousGuestDear Tannhauser:
I will be back to the computer in about 6-7 hours and will read and reply attentively. Please take care of yourself best you can, in this very difficult, painful situation that you are in.
anita
May 15, 2017 at 8:38 pm #149555AnonymousGuestDear Tannhauser:
This Force’s agenda then, is for all humans to spiritually awaken and save planet Earth from total annihilation. It pre-selected you as a pet project, to awaken before the masses. Your two realities are: what you awakened from and what you awakened into: being the only one awake, and in great pain and distress.
There is no advantage to you at all, this awakening and you believe it was not intended for your benefit, that you are a sacrifice for the purpose of the benefiting the collective, in the future mass awakening.
Did I understand correctly?
What you are experiencing is nightmare and it has been going on for so long. It is absolutely dreadful and I very much regret that you are experiencing this. .
Wikipedia, on Kundalini reads: “A spontaneous awakening in one who is unprepared or without the assistance of a good teacher can result in an experience which has been termed as “Kundalini crisis”, ‘spiritual emergency’ or ‘Kundalini syndrome'”-
Can there be… a good teacher for you? One who may help you, I wonder…?
anita
May 16, 2017 at 9:33 am #149651TannhauserBlockedDear Anita,
I had to do a lot of research into all this. People I once dismissed as nuts now suddenly seem quite credible to me. People such as the late Dolores Cannon. According to her, what set the alarm bells ringing was the detonation of the atomic bomb in 1945. A lot of people have ‘incarnated’ since then to try to bring an end to the ‘beast system’. I don’t know if this is actually true, I am just grasping at any information I can get.
I don’t believe I am special, I believe I am extremely unfortunate. Nor do I suspect I am the only person who this has happened to. You have no idea just how frightening it is to be reminded on a daily basis that nothing of this existence is real. And once you learn that, you can’t unlearn it. My sense of self, of who I am and what I believe in, has been totally shredded.
There is no actual Heaven, there is only a consciousness, a state of happiness and bliss. But getting there is extremely frightening because you go through de-realization and de-personalization along the way. The higher your vibrational level, the less contact you wish to have with the material world, even your own family. Their often trivial pre-occupations just become white noise in the background. Sadly, people are not only asleep, they are retreating further and further into a virtual world of iPhones, Facebook and Twitter, and their children are following them. It is all very frightening for humanity from where I am standing, but they can’t see it. Yet I envy them in their ignorance. They are in a world which is familiar and comfortable to them.
There are no Kundalini teachers where I live. There is nothing except You Tube. To be honest, I find it very difficult to watch these people’s videos because they have a tendency to waffle and ramble. For people like me, it’s basically sink or swim. Learn or die. Old fashioned evolution.
Best wishes,
Tannhauser
May 16, 2017 at 10:11 am #149653AnonymousGuestDear Tannhauser:
I trust you did a thorough research of this and that there is no “good teacher” available to you. And so, you are alone in this. This experience caused you an unbridgeable separation from others. The familiar and comfortable is gone; the ignorance is gone, sleep is gone and being awake, as you are, is a torture you face alone.
“Old fashioned evolution”, you wrote, “sink or swim. Learn or die.”-
Keep teaching here what you learn, Tannhauser, will you?
Swim, Learn and Teach, please.
anita
May 19, 2017 at 7:47 am #149977
PearceHawkParticipantTannhauser the real test of Christianity is how they treat non-believers. Christianity has a foundation of fear, guilt, and manipulation. For agents of a particular religion who come knocking on my door trying to buy me and sell me into their belief via fear, guilt, and manipulation is an insult to me as a human being. Stay the course you have chosen and find happiness in that journey.
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