In this post I started wondering…
is he that amazing? I’d want a guy to actively make an effort to talk to me. If not then it’s lovely to chat but the fear that grips you, in Mt head, for me, I would be seeing as Maybe something blocking you to protect you.

Maybe he’s not the one and your head says yummy and your body says nope. Not this one darling.

It’s nice to look though. Get the flirtation. Don’t put yourself through unnecessary pain.

Secondly. You saud you feel sad you’ve not Bern in love before. Baby dont rush. Don’t feel Bad about that at alL. When you get to 30 there’s an epiphany where all your learnings from all your years before come together and makes sense. You’ve got so much to do yet. When it’s time it will be time. And he’ll come to you. Believe it. X

Dear rosaly:

You wrote: “Just because I’m outgoing, loud and social, does not mean I am confident when it comes to dating, that is just my personality.” I do not think this is a personality issue. I think this is about you being afraid to be rejected. If you are rejected by someone you don’t like, someone you don’t care much for, then a possible rejection by such person is not going to hurt, therefore, there is no fear. But if you get rejected by someone you do like, someone who matters to you, then his rejection will hurt, therefore, there is fear. You mention fear repeatedly in your post.

This maybe should be a testimony to anyone reading this, especially young people who compare themselves to the outgoing, confident others, that appearances are not all there is.

It is obvious to me that you are afraid to be rejected by someone you like, someone whose rejection will hurt because you have serious doubts that you are likable and lovable. If you do get involved with someone you like, I hope you take it slowly, patiently, communicate in small amounts, bit by bit, take a lot of breaks, be mindful, pay attention, take small risks within the communication and move along with much patience and gentleness with yourself.

anita

“I was not emotionally involved in my last relationship, or in any of them in the past. I am too afraid to talk to anyone I fall for”
you probably think about the worst case scenario, and afraid of its consequences…..which is breaking up…

“so I just used to date and chat up guys I did not (really) like”.
you are technically lying to inner child saying that “all its okay, i already know this is not going anywhere so… it is fine”…but i am almost sure that you feel something.

Why do i know about this ? i have been on that road lol…. well i kinda make a deal with my inner child haha…TBH, everything is gonna be fine, its not like youre gonna die tmr…

P/s:
“I started uni, made a bunch of new friends, moved to a great city, and started my own company, traveled on my own, and I’ve been really happy and outgoing, being independent”
what are you ? human or super human ? 24 with a degree and your own company holy crap