Dear Coruja

Please don’t let no man hurt you. In particular, a man who is not worth hurting over and wants you to feel this way. He obviously was not the right person for you and did not see the beauty within you. Sometimes it is so annoying and frustrating to let man take over control of your life causing you to lose your identity. You are unique in your own way and the right person will come at the right time and when this person does come you will know. I too am a woman who has been through a devastating marriage with constant abuse and all types of torture and which after 12 years of marriage and 2 children I put a stop to. I tried, I gave, I honoured and I trusted but in return I got NOTHING than that of the aforementioned. There’s a saying that goes somewhat like this “one persons loss is another persons gain”. Believe that whatever happens, happens for a reason. You will overcome this feeling and pain and when you do, it will be the most amazing experience. Start by realising that this is probably the best thing that guy ever did. He set you free. Keep your head held high, take pride in the way you look, feel good within yourself. When this guy passes by you and sees that you are so focused and him breaking up with you has done nothing more than make you look and feel amazing, he will feel the pain himself.

Its okay to cry, its okay to feel sick and be physically sick. What isn’t okay is to let such people make you feel like your worth nothing because you yourself know that you are.

Love
Reha x

I feel your pain and understand exactly, all that heart hurt, the body aches from head to toe, physical pain that gives you health anxiety, makes your head spin and obsess about it all. So sorry that you’re going through this. Keep writing out your thoughts and reading articles on how to get over someone who broke your heart. it’s so helpful to know that others out there get what you’re going through!

One article that really helped me is called “I miss him but I don’t think he misses me”, lovepanky.com. Google that, keep reading it, cry and grieve the loss until you can’t cry anymore.

I agree with Wonder, this isn’t about you or anything you did or didn’t do, this is his immature way of acting and handling things. Don’t minimize what you two shared, obviously it was something special since it lasted for four years. Not saying you minimized it, just don’t read into his actions and make yourself think he is or has. You meant a lot to him, and probably still do but he’ll never admit that, as some guys have egos that take over and they won’t show their true and real emotion to anybody after a break up. He changed and it wasn’t anything you did or caused. Unfortunately sometimes people fall out of love, or they just aren’t ready to commit forever. Just know that as time goes on you will feel better! Trust me on that, it does get better.

• This reply was modified 11 years, 6 months ago by Macintosh.

Hi
I know the pain you talk about with your heart, ive had the same pain and still have it now but you learn to deal with it. It takes a long time to get over it and i dont think you do ever get over the loss you just learn to accomadate it. The feelings of rejection and failure are consuming but your love was pure and you should be proud of yourself for being able to give that. I wish you well in your journey and you will be alright.

I’m sorry that you’re in so much pain but you have to realize that what this other person says or does is outside of your control. The only person you have total control over is yourself. Whenever you feel like you just cant make it, tell yourself this is only temporary. Life is fluid it flows and it is everything you make it out to be. As difficult as it maybe to see the positive side of a tragedy, force yourself to see the light. When you have the time please check out our blog http://lovingboldly.com/

Much love and light
Rashmi