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My Health is Declining

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Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
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  • July 6, 2017 at 7:02 am #156590
    Claire
    Participant

    Hi there, I am new to the site.

    I have a neurological condition and sadly spend the majority of my time in my bedroom due to the severity of my symptoms.

    I used to be a health proffesional and I was very independent. My life has changed dramatically.

    I don’t feel I have a purpose anymore, I feel I am more or a burden than anything. I have had rather extreme thoughts.

    I wondered if anyone could provide me with some guidance please?

    Xx

    July 6, 2017 at 7:23 am #156622
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Claire:

    I would very much like to offer you what might be somewhat of a helpful input, but need more information:

    Can you elaborate on your neurological condition, your symptoms and prognosis?

    Is there someone taking care of you presently?

    anita

    July 6, 2017 at 7:48 am #156632
    PearceHawk
    Participant

    Claire I hope that as you read this, you are embracing the love that you deserve.

    I am not sure that I can offer the guidance that you are asking for, but I will share my experience with the hope that it takes you to a better place that will allow you to be more clear in your being. I too was a member of the health care community. I served 3 tours in Iraq and 13 months in Afghanistan. The emotional trauma still lingers although I have a MUCH better handle on it. One point in the 13th month in Afghanistan I was severely injured. It was a blast from an RPG that sent me and my best friend about 10-15 feet away from the impact of the rocket. As I turned to get my buddy off me, I saw that from his shoulder on up was completely blown away. As I tried to move I realized that I could not move my legs. I was paralyzed from the waste down for just over 9 months. It took a year of rehab in Germany before I could walk independently, without a walker. Still it wasn’t pretty sight. When I got home I discovered why, during the 13 months I was there, why I got 2 letters, maybe 3 from my wife. She was “with” someone that she worked with. That 8 year marriage ended. During the entire time I was not able to walk, I was resigned to believing that I was a burden. What I thought was my purpose all but disappeared. Psychological counseling was a joke, to me anyway. The survivors guilt is something that has a grip on me to this day.

    After I returned home I continued to go on the self-pity journey. Then one day I realized that I was no longer willing to accept my downhill spiral. I went to my favorite spot on the beach and think about what the hell was going on with me. I realized that what I was going through was a result of all the trauma I was exposed to and not some decision I made. What I was feeling was not me, it was a series of events that overwhelmed me. After a short while I asked myself what it is that I want. The answers did not come from anyone or anything. They came from within. To shorten my story, because I changed my way of thinking I was able to drastically change myself. Everyday I continue to seek out that which makes my life happier, better, more loving and caring. My sense of purpose continues to grow each moment. I am sure there are many details I could offer.

    All I am saying is that you can find purpose, and happiness, and love. Just decide what it is that YOU want, how YOU want to be, and go for it.

    Pearce

     

    July 9, 2017 at 6:20 pm #157252
    Mark
    Participant

    Hi Claire,

    Perhaps instead of focusing on what is missing, you can focus on the good that you can do. As a former health professional you can probably help people more than most. It can also give you a purpose because you are helping someone with their own life instead of thinking about what you don’t like about your own life. At the end of the day you can remember the good that you did instead of what is missing.

    Try to create possibilities instead of lingering on negative thoughts. Realize that’s just all thoughts are, words and understandings. You may not be able to control them, but through meditation you can start to move through them a little more adeptly. Listening continuously for minute-long stretches can help settle your thoughts because you are focusing on reality instead of being inside your head. Try to simply let extreme or negative thoughts slide. Try to instead fill your life with goodness, hope, and possibilities. Appreciate the little things… having the Internet, watching a new movie or favorite TV show, what you are going to eat for dinner. Don’t give up.

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