I started hooking up with this girl about a year ago, in July. We really liked eachother and texted all day every day and we would hang out all the time at her favorite bar. Originally I wanted to keep my options but eventually I realized I really liked her and wanted her to be my girlfriend. It took some convincing but we became an official couple in December.

It all kind of fell to shit in March though. She was getting really drunk everytime she went out and one day she got blackout drunk and made out with this guy Mike that was always at her bar. I confronted her about it and she denied it and I broke up with her. In the next few days she pleaded and beg for me to stay with her and promised to change and said everything she had to say to get her way, and like a chump I took her back. We would see Mike at the bar and she always ignored him and they had no contact.

I broke up with her in June because I didn’t feel like the relationship was working. After about a week without contact we started talking again and have been hooking up ever since but without the boyfriend and girlfriend title. Pretty much everything else about our relationship stayed the same though. It doesn’t make much sense but basically our understanding is that we’re only seeing eachother and we can go out and talk to people but if we start hooking up with someone else we’ll tell one another and break it off with eachother.

The problem is since we broke up she has been texting and hanging out with Mike a lot more than I’m comfortable with. He’s very obviously interested in her as more than a friend but she says she only sees him as a friend. A few weeks ago she let him stay at her house bc he had nowhere to go and she told me he tried to make a move but she said no (which I believe bc I saw a text from him apologizing about it). Still, she went to dinner with him the other night and hung out all night after and yesterday she went to the movies with him and his kids.

I don’t get it and I don’t know what to do. I realize she has a right to have friends and hangout with them but why does it have to be this guy when he clearly likes her and she knows it upsets me. Also these hangouts seem more like dates lately and I don’t get why she’d go on them if she turned him down and wasn’t interested in him like she claims. I’m constantly paranoid about it and asking her questions to try to figure out what shes doing. I know its wrong and that makes it worse but I don’t know what to do, I cant just ignore it. I feel like I’m becoming the woman in the relationship and I hate it. How can I fix this? I really like her, I have girl friends too but when I hang out with them I only think about her and I know it’s not the same when she goes out. I don’t want to end it but I feel as though its beyond repair. Please help