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My girlfriend thinks true love is at first sight, but didn't feel it with me?

HomeForumsRelationshipsMy girlfriend thinks true love is at first sight, but didn't feel it with me?

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  • #102512
    David Russ
    Participant

    Long story short is my girlfriend is utterly convinced soulmates exist and that you always know when you meet them. I know from previous heartbreaks that your feelings on soulmates aren’t always so accurate. She told me she didn’t feel the connection when we met.
    She says she still likes me and wants to be with me. I broke up with her earlier because I felt that her beliefs would limit the relationship. She has already crossed me off from her list of possible soulmates but wants to be together still.
    I like her a lot and she’s everything I need, but I feel like if some prince charming came through that she felt that “connection” with that she would likely just leave me. I asked her if she would and she said that if she felt sure he was the one she would. I care for her a lot and have been agonizing all day over her. I don’t know if I should get back together or if it’s just pointless. My buddhist friend told me I should just accept her and her beliefs as she is, I’m just afraid that it may be a waste, but I also think over time it might develop into true love and her mind will change. I don’t know what to do and any advice would be useful. Thank you!

    #102523
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear David Russ:

    I am not a believer in soulmates, not at all. I don’t believe in predestination, which is what the belief in soulmates is about. Someone, some entity decided who should “live happily ever after” with whom, maybe based on a “past life” information (reincarnation, related belief). Your concern is very valid and she validated it: if she meets a man and get that…feeling that he is her predestined soulmate, she will indeed leave you.

    I would agree with your buddhist friend on accepting her and her beliefs, but would elaborate on it: do accept that she will leave you when she gets that … feeling for another man. Can you do that? Truly accept and have peace with what she told you she will do: leave you when she gets a feeling for another man? Can it be okay with you to be with her until then and then see her go?

    anita

    #102553
    HippieChick
    Participant

    I agree (again

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by HippieChick.
    #102554
    HippieChick
    Participant

    I agree (again

    #102558
    HippieChick
    Participant

    I don’t know why it’s not posting my full reply 🙁 I’ll try again later.

    I agree with Anita. I do not believe soul mate exist and I think this idea is one of the big issues in many dating situations.

    “I would agree with your buddhist friend on accepting her and her beliefs, but would elaborate on it: do accept that she will leave you when she gets that … feeling for another man. Can you do that? Truly accept and have peace with what she told you she will do: leave you when she gets a feeling for another man? Can it be okay with you to be with her until then and then see her go?”

    I also think this is important. For if she truly believes this then if she ever feels like she meets her “soul mate” I believe she will not hesitate to leave you to be with him. Your choice if that’s a risk you can live with.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by HippieChick.
    • This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by HippieChick.
    #102565
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * Dear HippieChick: And I agree with you! (smiley face)

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