I am a white girl who was involved with a South Asian. While with me, I found out he was courting “suitable” women on the side to appease his parents (suitable meaning same culture, caste, religion … as well as light skinned and virgin). I joined this forum to try and make sense of that. It’s been years now and I still haven’t. I will personally never understand the reasonings of some people from this background.

You are in a situation that is even MORE ideal that I was … and it still isn’t working out. I can’t answer that. No one can. There is a bond between Indian males and doing what their parents want that can’t be broken. It is duty to them. The only feedback I can give you is that at least this was just a six-month courtship. It sounds like you developed feelings but it probably won’t take long to get past them (in comparison, I was with my guy for two years; he would have continued had I not confronted him).

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. This guy is not going to change. You are never going to get closure. I know this won’t help you now, but I guarantee that a year from now, you will be thankful it ended when it did.

I wish you well. I know this hurts.

I would recommend the following:

– Google “arranged marriage” and “TinyBuddha” for other topics that came up regarding this.

– Check out this website: http://madh-mama.blogspot.com/2015/07/when-your-indian-boyfriend-leaves-you_31.html

There are thousands of stories just like ours online. No one ever has the answers.

You deserve better. Find someone who cares about you and not your father´s problem.

What i learned – it´s not enough if only one person is willing to put in the work. You dodged a bullet there probably.

There´s no point asking yourself why he has no backbone. Its only important that he wasted your time. Something you wont get back. Learn from it and be diligent the next time you choose someone for courting.