I know that the text is long but please help me I’m so confused…

Me and my boyfriend have been officially a pair for 8 months. When we first started seeing each other he was really sad, I would say depressed. He adored me and I felt so special, you could really tell that he loved me from the start. I got really worried and tried to help him out of his sadness and it worked! I made him open up to his parents (they are divorced) and his father took action and got in contact with a psychologist, but after confessing he felt like he wasn’t sad anymore and didn’t feel the need to see anyone.

Our relationship has always been good, loving and we almost never fight. We do have our small fights and things we could do better but nothing major. Everything was good and then suddenly, out of nowhere, he said that something felt weird between us. We met up that same day and talked, he felt so confused, he said he didn’t know what was wrong and that he’s been feeling like this for a week but tried to ignore it hoping it would disappear. I started asking questions like “Do you still have feelings for me?” trying to make some sense out of the situation but he didn’t know what was wrong, he just knew that something was off. We both started to cry that night and he never cries, he actually said ” I never cried when I was little because then my dad would hit me.” (His dad abused him and his brother until he was 7 years old but their relationship is good today) We came to the conclusion that I would be there for him and he would try to figure things out.

We met up two days later and hung out, it ended up with us having sex and I was so nervous since I didn’t know if he was sure about me, I went silent afterwards. He noticed that I was feeling down and tried to talk to me and I said ” It feels weird having sex knowing you’re not sure about us…”, I don’t remember what he said after that but I froze and tears just started streaming down my face. I didn’t know what to do so I just got up, got dressed and ready to leave. He panicked and literally went down on his knees begging me not to go and I decided to stay, but I didn’t know what to say? He explained that he loves me, wants to be with me, doesn’t want anyone else and that he has never been happier in his life than what he’s been with me but for some reason his feelings for me wasn’t there. We both started crying hysterically and he brought up his parents divorce, his brothers, mothers and fathers depression and said that he’s been afraid of this because his brother also had a girlfriend for 8 months and suddenly fell out of love. He kept saying ” I’m broken, I will fix myself and I will get you back.” We didn’t decide what to do that night.

We met up a third time that week, Saturday, to decide what we where going to do. I decided to let him do the talking and that I would just listen, be positive, calm and loving. He explained his current state like this..” I feel like I’m in a room with no feelings, knowing that the feelings is there somewhere, trying to find them.” He still felt so confused so I decided that we would take some time apart and he agreed. It’s been a week now, we haven’t had any contact since then. Im so confused can someone tell me what happened? Is he scared and did that made him freeze (fight, flight or freeze)? How can feelings disappear like that? Did I do the right decision to go on a “break”? What should I do?

• This topic was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by tinybuddha.
• This topic was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Nellie.
• This topic was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Nellie.