So I am almost 20 in two months. I am in engineering and I am liking it. I met my girlfriend 2 months ago and everything with us is going amazing.

I just recently left my home and moved in with my mom. My dad and my mom separated when I was 2.My dad raised me for 17 years, yes I appreciate all the work and sacrifice he put in. I was controlled my entire life, this i mean I was never allowed to sleep over at my moms and was only allowed to see here once every 2 weeks from 9am-5pm. I was sometimes not allowed to go out with friends and I do not know the reason. I never experienced a high school party or had any fun times with friends because I was so controlled. My dad got married 9 years ago, his wife was nice at first and then the mask came off. Her and I never got along and i bet if i was dying she would not even care. I have always wanted to move out since jr high, toxic home. They would fight a lot (verbal) and bad moods all the time. You can feel the darkness in that home, she had anger issues and my dad did too. It would just spread and I would just listen. A teen listening to all that fighting.

As soon as I get girlfriend they both try to control me ( I am 19) I cannot even see her, only once a week they say. At this point they brought me to my limit, his wife finally kicked me out and I was not even sad but felt all the weight and stress just lift up. Now my dad is calling and texting me 24/7 asking where I am and when am i going back. He even went looking to random houses looking for my girlfriend thinking i was there and he also spent all day in a mall looking for me. I told him that i need some space and that I am doing okay, he knows I am at my moms house.

Now he is telling me that he has depression (it has been 5 days) and that he is on medication. I feel as they are throwing all the guilt onto me and I am just trying to grow up and enjoy life. when life gives you something you take it and you go with it because that one moment might not ever happen again. I am doing good at my moms house she is very successful and her husband is an amazing person. With all these issues I start to overthink about everything, i do have anxiety and i feel that my overthinking is bad but i am trying to calm it down. My grandpa told me today that if anything happens to my dad it would be all my fault and that all the guilt is on me. I am just trying to live and move on in life, like why can i not do what i want to? I feel free now and happy. My mom is making sure that school is first and of course that is my mentality as well. But with my dad being like this I feel that I am guilty for something but in reality i should not be. I still love my dad and forever will, I am not doing anything wrong. I am just trying to finish school and live life. How do I relax the overthinking and make the stress go away?

Thank you for reading 🙂