Home→Forums→Tough Times→Moving On
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October 14, 2018 at 7:07 pm #231001FreyParticipant
I’ve been through absolute hell with my ex. I’ve recently stopped talking to him, thankfully. We were in a really long and insanely romantic and great relationship. He started to smoke weed, and he lied behind my back for months, and I figured it out, and I still tried to make the relationship work. I look back, and it was really stupid of me, but I was also blinded by love and was overwhelmed with the idea that I can get our old relationship back. But he kept on lying and it was insanely painful. He would also sit around and do nothing, he wouldn’t get up and get a job, he would be kicked out of the places I got for him because he spent his money on weed instead of rent, and it was just really bad. We broke up but still kept on talking afterward, which I know was also a very bad mistake now that I’m looking back on it. We started talking again, he started to act really amazingly towards me for a while. Being extra sweet and doing more romantic gestures and actually talking about my problems and things that are going on with me (which he’s never done before), applying to jobs and found a place to live and it gave me lots of hope. But then he lied again (wow) and after he put in enough effort for me to stay, he continued to do nothing and I left him. Three days later, he’s already with a new girl, and that hurt but I’m trying not to let it get to me and be proud that he’s moving on. I’ve just hurt all around though, and I want to move on but I’m stuck. I’ve just been doing bad. It’s as simple as that, I guess. I’m failing my English class, I skipped second today because I am physically sick from not sleeping well. I fell asleep at 4 last night and 2 every night before that. I’m slacking at work, but I’m catching myself back up. I have to leave social situations to go and cry for a bit and come back. I left my friends to themselves and I said I was going to go to the bathroom or take pictures but in reality, I just sat in a corner and cried because I’m not as comfortable in social situations anymore. My rooms a mess, I am almost literally sleeping on my clothes that have sat on my bed for a week now. I don’t know, I’m slowly getting better. I’ve felt useless because even though I gave my all, spent tons of money, time, and broke my heart for him for months, he wasted it all for weed. I should’ve left in the beginning and I know that because it’s making me hurt so bad. I am coming here for advice on how to move on and just get over it. He really damaged me a lot and I’m now truly realizing how mentally abusive he was after he started lying, and I can’t accept that the person who truly loved me and I loved as well destroyed everything for a small high and to be lazy. I just want to stop feeling so useless and get over him. Is there any advice?
October 15, 2018 at 6:02 am #231077AnonymousGuestDear Frey:
The emotional attachment you have for him is similar to any other attachment, like the one he has to weed. Like anyone’s attachment to a drug or an activity. It feels bad without the object of our attachment, be it a person or a drug. Or an activity. We go through a withdrawal. In your case, your withdrawal includes sleeping little, not keeping your room neat, crying a lot and not doing well in school.
My advice is that no matter how you feel, get your room organized, so one task at a time. Endure the bad feelings and function best you can, do what you need to do so to have a better life.
One step, one day at a time. Post here anytime you’d like and I will reply.
anita
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