Home→Forums→Relationships→Mother-in-Law
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April 8, 2014 at 7:10 pm #54520ArianaParticipant
Hey everyone, this is my first time writing a forum and I feel really happy to have found this website.
So I will try my best to summarize something that has brought a lot of heart-ache, stress and frustration in my life recently.I happen to work with my boyfriends mother. He does not work with us. just me and her. Now I didn’t know her before work, nor my boyfriend’ when I first started dating him I wasn’t aware that this was her mother, I knew that they were related however I didn’t know that she was his mother. What at first seem to be a blessing has turned into a complete nightmare.
Now at first everything was perfect, his mom and I completely hit – it off in fact we became really good friends. Sometimes I even spoke more to her than I did to him. We got our nails done together, I invited her alone to dinner a lot of times….I thought how lucky could I get? I have a perfect boyfriend and he has a mother who loves me and I love her.
Then as the months flew by things started to get a little rocky, I started noticing things and finding things about her that completely threw me off 180%. At work and at home she seems like this betty crocker “I would never hurt a fly, ditsy” kind of woman. however turns out she’s the complete opposite.
First off she badmouths everyone we work with, and then as soon as she steps into work she acts like a complete fake little butterfly, she’s also the kiss-ass at work so she has all the managers bought because she always brings them little presents and food. (yet if only they knew what she says behind their back. The woman is also engaging in an affair, yet still has her husband wrapped around her finger. and for a while now she’s had it out against me.
Of course she always victimizes herself and says I am the one attacking her and all this nonsense to all my co-workers and boyfriend. However is the other way around in fact I feel like she is bullying me and In my 23 years of life I have never felt so helpless. She started ignoring me at work, banned me from her house, and even accused me of sleeping with a co-worker I don’t even talk to make look bad or perhaps get my boyfriend (her son) to break up with me. Mind you she is a 50 year old woman, I am appalled I can never imagine my mom behaving like she does me being 23 either. This woman seems to always want to be in control and always gets her way, she is selfish and I think she dislikes me because she can’t control the fact that her son loves me, she doesn’t know what to do with herself anymore because I potentially can destroy this little “perfect little butterfly image” that she portrays to the world or maybe its because I am right and she is wrong and she doesn’t know what to do with herself.I don’t know what to do anymore, I have never met such a horrible and I mean really fucked person in my entire life and I have been through hells and back. I cant stand her, and normally I don’t have a problem cutting negative people out of my life but this time its different and I am having a really hard time because she is my boyfriends mom and I love him so much. However i cant stand the disrespect and her fake-ness. I feel consumed. Part of me wants to just quit my job and move on but I feel like that would be giving her more control…. I don’t know if words did justice to whats really going on. I just need help, what do I do? part of me wants to call her out in front of everyone. part of me just wants her out of my life. Help.April 12, 2014 at 4:54 pm #54686Embers PearlParticipantAt what point did things change?
You saw another side to her with her talking behind people’s backs, sucking up to bosses and so on. Was it you that changed toward her? Was it you who changed? Could you find a way to like her again, paying attention to all her good points? You do not need to answer me, perhaps just to think about the point where you feel things changed.
All we have is ‘me’ in that sense – its all we have to work on. If we can find our part in things, then it is possible to mend what may have gone wrong. If you do not believe you have played any part, then I guess there is no hope.
Jen
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