Don’t do it at her parents place for a start, as you may leave further evidence and out of respect to their wishes. True they can’t force you not to have sex but would you expect their assistance, should she get pregnant?
I hope you guys get away with having a good time together though. If you had financial independence and your own place to stay, I’d say, the parents had no case to answer and no reason to interfere.
I’d say you don’t have to tell them the truth of what happened unless you really have to.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 6 months ago by jock.

You might’ve missed my edited post there. You may have to keep it a secret further if it is OK with your girlfriend. Until you move out of the house.
Are you content with keeping it a secret? Is she? If sex is really important to both of you, you need to get a job and move out. I’m assuming you are old enough to leave school/college. Your age is relevant in this discussion.
If you are young and still in high school and sex is very important to you, I suggest you find another girlfriend. But if your relationship is more important than the sex, then, go celibate until you are independent.

Dear Joel:

Is her father a decent guy? If so, his trust in you is precious. You don’t want to violate something precious, valuable. I would say for as long as she lives in her father’s house, stop having sex there or anywhere else.

anita

Ah Catholic guilt, I know thee well. My parents and my husband’s parents are also Catholic. My parents are much less strict than his though.

When we were dating, there was an unspoken assumption from both sets of parents that we would not have sex or live together unless we got married. But neither of us were even virgins when we met (granted, we were both 29 at that point, so it wasn’t unreasonable that we’d had sex before) and we had an excellent sex life that we never admitted to ANYONE in the family (well, I told my sister but she’s and I are the same level of “religion doesn’t get to dictate my sexuality”)

You guys are doing NOTHING WRONG by having a sexual component to your relationship, it’s a healthy thing to do when you’re committed to someone else. We accepted that we wouldn’t be able to live together until we got married, but we just lied for 3 years about having sex.

I would suggest talking with your GF about the guilt. Early on in our relationship, me and my now husband talked about what parts of Catholicism we embraced and what parts seemed wrong to us. It put us on the same page regarding where our morality stood.