Hi Helcat,

Thanks for your reply. It’s nice to hear that I’m not alone in going through this. How wonderful to hear the unfortunate experience of racism brought you and your husband closer together to support each other and approach the issue as a team.

I think you’re right, I’d like to approach this as a team with my partner too, and see how he feels about this.

I think my family may feel potentially betrayed if I relayed some of their racist remarks to him (they say these things in their native tongue or when he’s not present), however, I don’t want to condone this kind of behaviour, for them to think it’s ok to say it in front of me. I will definitely tell them it’s not ok to speak or think like this, however, they would likely think I’m taking it too seriously or that their comments are not a big deal because they’re not saying it directly to him.

I think the main takeaway for me is to bring my partner in on this so we can approach it as a team; I don’t want to hide why I’m sad sometimes from him anymore. It’s an isolating feeling. And go from there, thanks again!