Hi all,

Currently, I am in a job that I have come to dread and loathe, and I’ve only been there 3 months. It started off well as everyone seemed friendly and supportive, but that front has dropped now. The two colleagues who are supposed to help me have become distant and reluctant, despite the job being very technical and difficult to learn, and every day, I feel like they resent me more and more for asking them for help with customers’ queries. One of them in particular has suddenly made me a target, humiliating me and putting me down in front of others, talking about me behind my back, and generally speaking to me like I’m worthless.

I suffer from anxiety and recently it has become much worse because of this job. I sit all day at my computer barely saying a word for fear of being judged or humiliated or put down, but this in turn erodes my self-esteem as I feel I’m being quiet and boring. Right now, I am sat at home on a workday as I cannot face going back into the office. I feel like I never want to go back again. Throughout this role, I have only tried to be friendly and nice and helpful, but the work culture at this company is loud and full of banter whereas I am a quiet, introverted type, so I don’t fit in at all.

I have a TEFL qualification and would love to teach English online, but the hours are usually part-time and the job pretty poorly paid. My boyfriend and I could probably just manage rent and bills (if I even got the job in the first place), but we’d have to be super careful about money and that would have its own stresses.

I have a strong feeling that I’m going to be fired anyway, but if not, what would you do? Would you take the risk and try online teaching without the security of a guaranteed salary, or would you carry on for a while in a job that was making you miserable but kept you (relatively) financially secure? Also, if you’ve ever suffered from low self-esteem, how did you boost it back up?

Thanks for reading.