Rarely are opportunities presented to you in a perfect way. In a nice little box with a yellow bow on top. ‘Here, open it, it’s perfect. You’ll love it.’ Opportunities — the good ones — are messy, confusing and hard to recognize. They’re risky. They challenge you. Susan Wojcicki
In other words, life is messy. I’m sorry your going through a difficult time. I did a quick google search on ‘How to achieve the peace in your life when you have never had it’ and there were pages of results. It seems many people struggle with the same problem so you’re not alone.
Based on my own experience with the issue the first step was to create space to really look at what I was feeling and thinking. This may sound strange but allot of my stress and unhappiness was about being stressed and unhappy. I was stressed about being stressed! Well that was pointless so for me the next step was a change of perspective on stress and uncertainty. It came down to fear. I was afraid of feeling stress, stress was something bad, it was messy but what if I stopped being afraid of stress and instead set an intention to noticed it without judging/measuring it (or myself) and instead accept it as a piece of information. It took time but eventually instead of fighting stress and mess which creates a kind of physic log jam I could allow it flow. I still get stuck sometimes however the moments now last a few hours or a day vice weeks.
It can time to change perspective/habit (stress can become a habit) the trick is to start. Make an intention to change the way you deal with stress and the messes of life and then take a step. As you learn better do better what more can you ask of yourself?
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