Hello Baby Beans,

I did have a reaction to the plane crash, but mine was a bit different from yours. It felt so random that I just thought “what’s the point of being afraid?” We can never be perfectly safe and there is a catharsis in understanding that.

Why would you go to YouTube to watch something that is put there to create terror and despair in people? I personally stay clear of anything that I know would be too much for me to take or would have a debilitating effect on me. It sounds like you feel a bit debilitated at the moment. Like Jasmine said, that sort of state isn’t helpful, so don’t seek it by deliberately digesting things that make you feel like that.

The world isn’t just about suffering. You’re having a disproportionate outlook on what is happening around you. Certain events, like mistreatment of children and animals, cause global outrage. You can look at it from the perspective that the world is a horrible place because such things happen, or you can see that most people are just as upset as you are over such events. People around the world want peace and serenity, just like you.

There is another aspect to it. The people who commit horrible acts are still only human. I never forget watching a Louis Theroux documentary about the crime and violence in South Africa, where he interviewed a man who had murdered a lot of people and had little regard for human life. It became clear to me that he had little regard for himself as well. He lived in the belief that he was worth nothing and how could we expect a person like that to value human life? He felt no value in himself, so how could he see value in others? The opposite of that, to feel valued, loved, appreciated and respected, makes a person to behave in courteous ways also towards others. They value others, because they feel valued. We project how we feel onto the world around us and onto other people.

So what might be the solution to a situation where someone does bad things? Do we isolate them and continue to treat them as scum, or do we offer compassion, forgiveness and the possibility for life to win?

I sometimes see our interaction with the world as how we influence and tend to our world. If we send out anger, then the world is yet again more angry place to be. If we send out love, the world is yet again a little more lovely place to be. If a bad thing happens, are you going to add to the misery or do you try to counter it by reacting in a more compassionate way? I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to feel anger or hurt or pain or sorrow. But we need to be skilful about how we treat that situation and how much do we let our actions be guided by those feelings. Responding to anger with anger isn’t going to make the anger go away.

You can’t change the whole world by yourself, and you shouldn’t be able to do that. We all have our individual journeys that we have to go through, and sometimes there has to be some misery as well so that we can learn how to love. To take away those experiences would be to deny the learning experience.

Just, don’t feed yourself with too much misery. It becomes too difficult to deal with it all and you have to be reasonable and understand your own limits. Take baby steps with compassion towards yourself and towards other people and animals and life in general. Learn how to heal yourself first, and when you feel strong and capable, then take on the challenges of others. It will all be OK in the end.