Dear Gerold:

It seems to me that the old cottage, the one bulldozed, on that property, the very property represents for you childhood dreams and hopes lost in adulthood.

Those youthful hopes and dreams, youthful desires, that view that the future is open to great, unlimited possibilities, that is an intoxicating feeling.

Is that what you see in that property?

Or is it love for your grandparents, missing them, missing that safety of family, as a child?

Or something else.

anita

Dear Gerold:

“Something that I think will be impossible to regain”- what is that something?

anita

Dear Gerold:

Your daughter, if she grew up in that cottage, could have a different experience there than you did. Just like your wife had a different feel for it, preferring sand over rock.

The new memories you could have made there, if you owned the property, if you built a similar cottage on it, those new memories wouldn’t be the same as the old.

The old is gone.

Once you see what it is that was and accept that it is indeed gone, lost into the past, the nightmare will be gone as well, I think.

Thing is, not all is gone. There is something that is still in you, not in the cottage, not in that property. That something perhaps wants to be brought back to awareness.

anita

Dear Gerold:

Do I understand correctly: you believe the issue is the actual cottage, the actual tangible property that you miss, not how you felt (the intangible) when you where there?

anita

Dear Gerold:

Then the tangible property is no longer there for you, the cottage itself is gone and the property is for $800 a night rent, that is extremely expensive for most folks. I don’t think I could enjoy a place knowing I am paying so much money to be there.

Regarding the intangible part of what you missed, the good news is that you can experience this again someplace else because this intangible experience was made possible by your brain and … you still have a rent free excess to your brain. I don’t think such excess is simple or easy, but possible.

anita