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Loving a person who has too much Ego

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  • August 17, 2019 at 9:48 am #308365
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Princess123:

    Welcome back and I am glad you posted again, like I suggested, regarding a new man in your life. This man reads way more decent than the previous man we discussed (but there isn’t much of a competition there, because the previous man was dishonest, inconsiderate and well, a bad choice all around).

    This man, unfortunately it doesn’t read like a good idea to continue because of what you stated: different castes, his silence when you bring up the topic of marriage and his loyalty to his family. It reads like he will not go against his father by marrying you.

    If I was you, I would make sure a man I consider dating is

    1) honest

    2) is either of the same caste (his family’s approval of the marriage expected) or

    3) if he is of a different caste, and his family’s disapproval of a marriage with you  is expected, then he is not loyal to his family’s position and is able and willing to marry you against their wishes.

    -What do you think?

    anita

     

     

    August 17, 2019 at 10:16 am #308367
    Princess123
    Participant

    Dear Anita ,

    i dint get your 3rd point .

    Ya he isnt in competition and he is really nice and loving . And very much honest as i saw him .but the only thing which worries him is that he will not take any stand .

    When last time i talked to him about him he said that just give him a chance he ll try to convince him . Just don’t leave him without trying him .

    Because i said him

    that i feel like he doesn’t love me . He said he is sincere with me and just try him how he can prove his sincerity to me  .he offered me the passwords of account and said me if u want he can tell his siblings about us . But atleast give him chance.

    I dont knw anita what to do . He feels so perfect and kind with me and always straight forward with me .

    Do u think not continuing with him will be a good idea because i m already hurting by thinking about him that what if after an year or two he wont go against his family .

    I m a girl i  have same caste issues Too .but i have gave up after knowing his opinion seriously.

     

    August 17, 2019 at 12:36 pm #308377
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Princess123:

    In #3 I meant that

    1. This man is of a different caste from yours.

    2. His parents disapprove of him marrying a woman of a different caste (you).

    3. This man is very loyal to his parents and is unlikely to disobey them and marry you.

    These three things together makes him not a good candidate for dating if you want the dating to end in marriage.

    Did I understand correctly?

    anita

    August 24, 2019 at 2:53 am #309135
    Princess123
    Participant

    Dear Anita ,

    thats right . I actually talked to him and made things more clear . I said what if your family wont approve,will you leave me ?

    He said nooo … we ll convince them they all agree than i said how about last conversation when u said that if u needed to choose one from you and family than u ll choose family etc .

    He explained me All things .i got relieved a bit .

    And anita this isnt streesing me out  now . Because i m just so messed up right now because of my exes now . Because one of my ex is spreading rumors about me .my mental peace is gone . Sometimes i get so hopless i feel as if my life is destroyed and i should better not live . I know this thinking are dangerous or may b i m being depressed again .

    it took me almost one week to write you back as my life was messed up from last monday .

    August 24, 2019 at 7:42 am #309145
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Princess123:

    I re-read our communication on this thread and these are my thoughts this morning:

    You will be 24 next month. You have three more years in university to complete your degree. Your family lives in another country while you live away from your family in Europe, within a Muslim community of people from your homeland.

    Within this community, men have been using your body for their sexual needs. Your family from your homeland has not and is not protecting you or guiding you. You are all alone in a community of men who use you sexually. Muslim, religious men, of good social reputation, who  use your body for their sexual needs.

    No one in your homeland and no one within your European community is helping you and guiding you and so, a young woman living alone in a society of selfish, cruel men who need sex, you have fallen prey.

    This community where you live is doing you no favors. The people in this community are either abusing you or, others in this community, are not protecting you from abuse: they allow you to  be the unofficial go-to place for men who need sex.

    It enrages me!

    Leave this community, what a despicable community of pretend-values, of a Muslim religion which instructs men to marry virgins, yet these men use you sexually (I suppose they intend to marry virgins).

    Leave this community, make a plan  to live elsewhere, make a practical plan.

    anita

     

     

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