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Love/Work/School: 2013 in retrospect

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  • December 17, 2013 at 5:51 pm #46931
    jbone
    Participant

    This last year has been one of the more difficult ones that I have lived through in my short-ish life. My brother entered his 3rd rehabilitation center for heroin use, my grandmother passed away, my girlfriend of 10 years who I was about to make fiance’ cheated on me, and I entered a painstaking depression as a result, which has led to a failure of my last year in college. I was promoted in a job in which a promotion means less money AND more hours (55+ hours a week), and having the responsibility of the higher ups thrust onto me in a position where I have very little experience. I feel sad because of my daily life; I have no desire to continue in school or to continue working the job that I do. I know that I am lucky to have the opportunity for education and job security but I am not happy. I find myself becoming a slave to the monotonous coveted american lifestyle. For some reason I’m searching for a home to buy just because I feel that Im supposed to. I don’t even want a house. What I REALLY want to do is leave. Not run from my problems, but go to a place where I can solve them. When I was younger I did some work at an orphanage in a foreign country and I feel that is my calling in life. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about those kids and the smiles and laughs we shared and wish that I was someplace else helping people. Any people. Just as long as I’m with people who value love and humanity and not material wealth and greed. I want to work for/start a nonprofit where we go to foreign countries and help families and children in whatever ways they need whether it be through clothes, food, water, or just companionship for the lonely. The main problem with this is that I don’t want to disappoint my parents as they are both educated people and want me to be as well. I don’t want to let them down, but I feel that I’m letting myself down while I go through the motions of this life I don’t want to be apart of anymore. Maybe all of the stuff I’ve experienced this year has me thinking irrationally but I don’t want to continue feeling this depression and hurt.

    December 17, 2013 at 7:30 pm #46935
    Al
    Participant

    Your life is yours to live. No one else’s. You must do what makes you happy, not others. The expectations your parents have for you are issues they will have to deal with, not you. In general, by setting expectations you also set yourself up for disappointment when the expectations are not met therefore your parents set themselves up for disappointment the day they had expectations of you. If anything, they should simply want you to be happy.

    I am glad in your assertion of ‘becoming a slave to the monotonous coveted american lifestyle’. Be extremely thankful for having made the recognition. It means that now you can truly live your life. 🙂 I believe that every experience has a role to play in our lives. In each of them is a lesson, or a truth, that is revealed to us but must be recognized which will then help us realize our true path (I apologize if this sounds corny). In your case, it could be said that you were meant to undergo these difficult experiences in order to be reminded of the what held significance and meaning in your life. And, according to what you wrote, it seems you’ve already known it all along and clear that you’ve already made the decision. You just need that little push now.

    I say do what makes you happy. As an advocate to pursuing dreams, I will always push anyone to find a passion or if they’ve found it, to pursue it. Also, I have yet to find a counter-argument for doing what you love. 🙂 I believe that’s all there is to be said so here is where I leave you with a great find I stumbled upon years ago. I hope it will give you the motivation needed to begin chasing your dreams as it did for me.

    http://www.dannychoo.com/en/post/1645/Tokyo+Photo+Walk+3.html

    Best Regards,
    Al

    December 28, 2013 at 2:54 am #47749
    Boy Under The Bridge
    Participant

    @jbone25 said:
    This last year has been one of the more difficult ones that I have lived through in my short-ish life…. .

    I can relate to this. I actually got that job overseas on a island in the pacific after working as what felt a slave to a few large corporations. To be short, definitely believe it can happen. Deep down you know what you want and another day lying to yourself is not worth it. It happened to me.

    The full story is on my blog here if you are interested..

    http://boyunderbridge.com/2013/10/28/risks-at-twenty-six/

    Any questions , just let me know how I can help.

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