Home→Forums→Relationships→Loved and lost
- This topic has 24 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 2 months ago by
Anonymous.
-
AuthorPosts
-
February 9, 2016 at 8:03 am #95424
asherParticipantI understand your pain and frustrations. I do in fact believe everything happens for a reason; I’ve learned so much already: about myself, what I have to offer, to value myself and understand that people might not always appreciate you but that doesn’t mean someone else out there wouldn’t. Today I understand that every person on this planet is unique in their own way and that no one can imitate the way we love because this is a distinct characteristic each and every one of us holds. This person that came into my life after my ex and I broke up was only hope that things do get better.
February 9, 2016 at 8:22 am #95429asherParticipantThe one thing that helped me the most was writing down my story. I was able to observe what truly got me angry deep inside and I realized it was nothing to do with the rejection. I guess when you write down your story from the point where it started going downhill you’ll discover something new.
February 9, 2016 at 10:13 am #95566
AnonymousGuestDear asher:
in your last post above you wrote that you learned something new about what truly got you angry. Would you like to share what it is? I would like to know…
anita
February 9, 2016 at 12:25 pm #95583asherParticipantWhat got me angry was this person’s dishonesty. I’ve learned that it isn’t my problem anymore because this was a reflection of their character and personality not mine. I’m in fact very happy that things didn’t workout with this particular person because she would have just hid things from me and one day walkout because she wouldn’t be able to face herself with all the lies she would be hiding from me.
-
This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by
asher.
February 9, 2016 at 1:09 pm #95590AnonymousGuestDear asher:
Your time, your love are very valuable so indeed I understand that you would get angry when these are spent on someone who was dishonest with you. I do hope that in the future, when you feel affection toward a person, that you will take the time required to get to know that person, to get to know if they are worthy of your time and affection, before you invest more of your resources.
Please post again, anytime!
anita
February 9, 2016 at 1:58 pm #95601asherParticipantThank you Anita I truly value your feedback and I will take what you’ve told me into deep consideration.
February 9, 2016 at 2:04 pm #95603AnonymousGuestYou are welcome, asher. Hope to hear from you again and will respond again then!
anita
February 9, 2016 at 8:29 pm #95646
Lonely88ParticipantMan yea your right I mean I still feel the guilt that if I could have done that this way or that maybe things would be different but it is what it is I just can’t understand and makes me feel what u feel asher because she full of lies and don’t wana be honest she hides her feelings that she prob doesn’t even know her self anymore I feel like all this time being together she was jus looking for a gateway an excuse to break up ..I even left her everything all well furnished and even the car I just grabbed my things and walked away which I didn’t have to do that just that I chose too even fact that we did not have kids together
February 9, 2016 at 8:38 pm #95647Lonely88ParticipantI’m tired of wasting time of my life for someone that doesn’t even thinks about me or that no longer loves me. I have tried and tried to move on all this time wasted illusinatin something. That Will never happen again ..question is ,
What can I do to over come this , move on with my life like she has ?,February 9, 2016 at 9:56 pm #95655
dreaming715ParticipantThis advice from an article on this website has been extremely helpful to me in dealing with heartbreak.
We all want closure. In looking for this type of closure, we are often giving away our power. We’re saying, “I cannot move past this experience until…”
The outside world cannot take care of our feelings. Only we’re able to do that internally. Release the need for outside mediation or validation.
Assert that we can move forward regardless of what is happening in the outside world.
Remind yourself that anger hurts you more than the other person who upset you. What can you do about this? Visualize it melting away. This is an act of kindness to yourself.
Also remind yourself of how this person was not perfect and potentially unhealthy for you or prevented you from moving in a forward direction in your life. Think of the quote, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”
We can all get through this! I can say with absolute certainty that we won’t feel this way forever. The only constant in life is change and it would be impossible to remain in this state of mind. Amazing, fulfilling things are ahead of us!
February 10, 2016 at 6:13 am #95663asherParticipant@Lonely88 I understand and feel your pain inside out, I know what it is like to give yourself up to someone and they just throw you away like you don’t mean anything. I would also consider this a blessing for you because think about it in this way even imagine if you had kids with this person? Do you think it would still prevent her from breaking it up? Would you really want a wife that is dishonest and doesn’t know what she is doing with herself? Or even know who she is? From what I can see is that you’re a nice man and nature one day will reward you with someone that would respect you and thrive for your attention. Another thing I realized is that people are sometimes too busy picking up stones one day they’ll wake up and realize that they’ve lost a diamond. You honestly did the best you can for this girl, you gave her everything but she is was too blind to see what you could do for her. What I suggest you do is work on yourself put this wonderful energy in you and become the best version of yourself. I have a few suggestions I would say engage in disciplined physical activities martial arts, or get yourself a gym coach and start killing your body in way you thought was never possible. Feel good about yourself because you’re a wonderful person so do what is best for you now and not for anyone else.
February 10, 2016 at 6:18 am #95664asherParticipant@dreaminng715 thank you for taking the time to reply I feel what you said reflects on to me also.
February 10, 2016 at 7:11 am #95665Lonely88ParticipantThank you @dreaming715 for taking time to read my story and also @asher .it feels nice that we have the same experiences and there’s still people out there that you can relate too ..your absolutely right @dreaming715 time is your best friend heals every wound, but with me it’s going for 3yrs and I still carry this pain n lost love for this girl. on the other hand she’s busy doing her self that she forgot our history we once upon time had..@asher don’t get me wrong bro I took her for granted and maybe didn’t giver her enough love or could have treated her better. I guess that’s probably one reason why I can’t move on because I’m beating my self up of how maybe I could have prevented this from happening if I only did things different.it’s funny @asher that you mention the part about kids because I would say to my self only if maybe we had a child with each other maybe that could have United us together back again n honestly asher this woman turned my life upside down yet I’m still crawling she left me on 2013. On 2014 when I didn’t think things could get worse, well it did it got worst I went to jail then lost my job so I’m back to where I first started off after high school with nothing .we actually don’t talk to each other unless I decide to call but it takes 2 to conversate n I guess that why I limit my self to call her because she puts no effort on trying to see how I’m doing and we’ll u know jus general neutral conversation. For some reason she thinks she doing better than me or is better than me. Well I guess I can say she’s some what is doing better than me because she was able to keep her job reason why I lost mine because depression hit me very bad over this breakup n as u can see it didn’t bother her on bit .but I guess she believes she’s better than me because I had no choice but to move back with my parents bc she kept the house we was living (renting) n well she’s not struggling as far as oh I need a new couch etc. Bc I left her all well furnished everything brand new so she doesn’t know how it feels to not have nothing and to start from the bottom n so maybe that’s why she thinks she’s better or doing better than me n I ask my self how are u better than be when your out there doing same as I am partying n getting wasted .and she also looks down on my friends .but I really did take the extra mile to show her n prove her how much truly I loved this girl and how sorry I was .but she doesn’t believe in 2nd chances I told her I was young n immature , but honestly ppl I never thought I would go this far as far as talking to couselor or going to therapy to try to save a marriage or relationship I guess that’s prove how love truly is a powerful thing that would make people do thugs out of their nature .guess you don’t know what you have till you loose what you had .look forward to hear advises,opinions. Feel free to correct me my friends thanks
February 10, 2016 at 7:16 am #95666Lonely88ParticipantI tell her that we all make mistakes but I guess she believes in perfection smh
February 10, 2016 at 8:13 am #95670AnonymousGuest* Dear Lonely88:
I read your posts on this thread. If you would like to start a new thread (click FORUMS), get page with CATEGORIES, choose category, ex: Emotional Mastery, click that, go down to the bottom), please do and i will respond there.
anita
-
This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 