Well it all started in the summer of 2015 I met this girl while I was volunteering at an event. When our eyes first met I felt a feeling that is not describable but felt right. Throughout my shift I didn’t pay much attention to it. When my shift ended I was outside changing my shirt and she kind of popped out of no where and hinted that she wanted to speak to me because she must have felt it also. So I made the move and spoke to her. We both shared a great connection and a bunch of laughs on our way back home. Fast forwarding at the end of the night I managed to get her number and we never stopped talking to one another since. We went on our first date which we both had a great time talking and getting to know each other better. By the end of the night we kissed and planned to meet up again the next following week. It turns out she was a really busy cookie because she is a medical resident and our schedules didn’t get along with one another but regardless we kept in touch. Eventually we did see one another but a month later and she looked exhausted, stressed and had a lot on her mind. I insisted we talk about what is bothering her and I eventually opened her up and worked with her to restore emotional balance because I am really good at comforting. The night passed pretty quickly and she was feeling a lot better (I think it has to do with the chocolates I surprised her with). I hugged her tightly before leaving and kissed her eyes and forehead and told her to take care of her health for me until the next time I see you.

At this very point in my life everything turned upside down within a weeks’ time I had to drop out of school for the semester because I had to get a job to support my family. My father’s business was new but still struggling to strive; we were overdue rent for 2 months’ time, bills had to be paid, and there was barely any food to live off of. I hid all this from her but opened up about my current situation because I felt she was feeling avoided. When I told her she was extremely supportive about it and really happy that I told her because it gave her an idea what is going on. As time went by I’ve noticed when I was working she was free and when she was free I was working. Our schedules weren’t efficient for one another but it didn’t stop me from loving this person one bit. Christmas and her birthday were around the corner and I bought her gifts to surprise her on her vacation time. I knew everything she liked inside out because I listened very carefully to her so I got just what she needed. Unfortunately we couldn’t meet up during the break because she went MIA and I was so frustrated because we had planned to meet and this person just disappears without a notice. It drove me crazy; but what had happened was that she was sick and she wasn’t in the mood to speak to anyone (she is like that, she is very strange in this way). I was annoyed at her for doing that because it totally ruined my mood but she apologized and we made up and postponed our reunion a week later. A week’s time after I felt she was a little different because of the way she was speaking at that moment I knew I had to open up about how I loved and felt about her. I told her I was always wanting to tell you in person because I’m not really a tech saavy person, I felt that something this sensitive is better in person because I could show what I feel by expressing myself. She was astonished at the same time sorry because a month earlier she had met someone else through a mutual friend and she kicked off with him because she just assumed I had lost feelings for her. But she insisted we remain friends.

Feeling like complete crap I knew deep inside that friendship wouldn’t work because we never really had the foundation of a friendship, we went off to being loving people fairly quickly. We managed to speak on the phone, and honestly I didn’t care that she was seeing someone else because I am not the jealous type in fact I was very happy for her. I told her I love her very much and I don’t know what made you think that I lost feelings for you because I’ve been in touch with her ever since and gave you nothing but my attention, support and love. I went more in depth about my life so that she could see what it has been like for me hopefully it would wake her conscience and see how much love dwells in my heart for her. She acknowledged it but she didn’t seem to care because she had already gotten a replacement. She had also invited me to go partying with her on her birthday which I agreed too even though deep inside I didn’t want to. On the day of the party I had to hitch a cab from the other end of town because she said she would be going with her friends really late in the night and that she’d text me if anything happens. So I had organized a place to stay at my friends so I can get ready to see her. Already my heart was aching for the past couple of days: I hit a mild depression, had trouble eating, sleeping, my sex drive was gone, I was feeling down, regretting and hating my life for taking a turn unexpectedly. It was around 12 am and she never got back to me, so me and my friends were left hanging; the people who canceled their night out to come out with me and support me so I wouldn’t feel alone at the party. Eventually I broke down because there were too many emotions and it was the only way to release them. The next day I woke up and I poured my heart out to her on text message telling her that it is hurting me every day and that I won’t be able to be “just your friend” because of the feelings I have for you but she never answered her phone. So I felt the best way to end it was by going to her house unexpectedly so I could see for one last time and give her gifts that I’ve gotten her. When she came down I told her that I love her and it is hard for me to be “just friends” because I have strong feelings for you. I explained if I can’t be that loving person with you then I can’t be a part of your life because it will just screw with me more. When I tried to give her the gifts she wouldn’t accept them because she is seeing someone else. I tried to tell her that these gifts have nothing to do with me or you or the person you are seeing. I explained and gave her my reasons on why she should accept the gifts because
1.) They were bought way before she met this new person
2.) The art of giving a gift is to show how much you appreciate someone; it is the ultimate way of showing your love and devotion.

She still denied and I had nothing left to say so I walked away. She eventually deleted me from Facebook and never spoke to me ever since.
I can agree I was a little invasive and intruding by showing up unexpectedly but deep inside I wanted to see her for the very last time and end it in person.
Right now I am experiencing moments of grief and regrets that maybe if I held back and not showed up to her place I would still have her in my life. Or if I could have told her sooner on the phone. I curse myself because the way things had changed without any control.
I know people say we make time for things that are important to us but in my case there was barely time for myself. I was working 11 to 15 hour shifts at work and my days off I was helping my father run the business. But I still made sure I kept in touch with her.

A part of me is angry not because of the rejection but the fact that she continued to play along with me until she was sure of the other guy. I just want to forgive and forget but my mind is always disrupted of thoughts of her and how things could have been different. Everything at home is a lot better now and I am back in school studying but I just have random emotional breakdowns and my thoughts process is tense.

• This topic was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by asher.
• This topic was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by asher.
• This topic was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by asher.
• This topic was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by asher.
• This topic was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by asher.
• This topic was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by asher.
• This topic was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by asher.