Hi Tavo,

I’m so sorry you are going through this, and how long you have gone through this with this girl..the hoping, the fantasizing, the waiting, but how long can you do this and not completely drive yourself crazy? Something has to give. You have waited and waited and invested so much time on someone who has invested no time in you, and continues to tell you, she does not want a relationship. I understand you love her, but at what cost to your emotional and mental health? Something has to give, there has to be a day very soon, when you say “enough” “I am done” “I deserve love, I am a great person with alot to offer and deserve peace once and foreall instead of all this inner turmoil, making you so miserable.

Your whole being, life, world is wrapped in a fantasy of this woman. She has stated over and over she does not see a relationship in her future for whatever reasons she has. Are you going to wait another 10 years and waste your life on someone who will never love you, when in the meantime, you are missing equally beautiful, talented, etc women that want a man like you? You have to decide when enough is enough and just tell yourself that it is time to get all this stuff out of your head about her and move on, towards a brighter future and healthy, real relationship. Best to cut off all contact with her. She is only out for herself. Find someone who deserves you. Keep us posted.

Dear Tavo:

I was wondering, in your past conversations with her, did you ask her and did she share about her relationships with her parents? Do you think it could be relevant to her anxiety/ lack of interest in a romantic/ love relationship with a man (I understand she didn’t have one yet?)

You asked: “do you think I can accept not being with her and still loving her as more than a friend? Or am I just living in denial, and not allowing myself to exit?”

I am not clear: denial of what?

anita