Regarding the depression that you feel towards your family. Is it that you can’t forgive them or is it just that they are not pleasant people to be around (whether it be that they are negative or unable to love themselves etc.)? I love my family dearly but they are all depressing for me to be around. They’re negative, self loathing, drug addicts, and un-ambitious. But I love them and I forgive them for all of their problems because they are doing the best they can. I just can’t be around them because they bring me down and I see nothing wrong with that. Correct me if this doesn’t relate to you.

I think you may have kind of answered your own question…”I want unconditional love for myself and others…” The mental block is not having unconditional love for yourself. I believe that you have to find that love in yourself first before you can feel that for anyone else. I have started seeking that love for myself just recently (I relied on my ex for that love). Spend time by yourself and get to know your self. Turn off the tv and just reflect, maybe write in your journal. Read some self help books, I have started to read “the power of positive thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale and this has changed my outlook on my self and life in general. Finding unconditional love in yourself is hard work and you have to be willing to put the effort in to it but I’ll tell you that it works. Just have faith in yourself.

In all sincerity, please keep me posted on your progress.

Kim,

If I can only stop myself from crying while reading your post. I related to you more than I ever related to anyone around me. In this life, I’ve been always asked to be someone’s friend and they would always use me as a tool to get to what they wanted from me as a friend and a loving individual. Caring for what they wanted and not really giving myself anytime to seek new friends and discover the possibilities that could come from it, I saw everyone of them betray me the second I left the scene.

My family is very loving just like yours; giving me every bit of love and encouraging me to do what I want. However, I’ve never learned how to convey emotions of love and always assumed that the other person will just get it. This way of thinking ended with me always being lonely, which is fine if you truly value yourself.

Your story inspires me to seek out love in a deferent route and give love back unconditionally. You made me notice this mental block that I seem to have as well. Exactly as you put it, it is as if I don’t know what it is. Thank you!