Dear whitelily:

I read your post and I want to give your it all the time and attention it deserves.  I will be able to do so tomorrow morning my time (in about 16 hours from now). I may submit a short reply in a few hours before replying at length in the morning.

* If you share more details, it would help me understand better, but if you feel uncomfortable doing so, it’s okay- I’ll reply later nonetheless.

anita

Dear whitelile:

I will be back to you in about 11 hours. For now I wanted to say two things:

“I reduced much of the dose of drug and am thinking much more clearly” – congratulations for accomplishing this!

“The thing is I have a lot of growing up to do which is challenging in middle age” – thinking much more clearly than before will make it possible for you to accomplish a lot of growing up in the next few years.

It is not too late to grow up in middle age, I know this from my own personal experience of growing up in middle age.

anita

Dear whitelily:

You mentioned suffering from cptsd in your post before last. In your original post you shared that you suffered from abuse and neglect, that you dissociated from it, and therefore did not process it. I will refer to this abuse and neglect as your Trauma, part of your Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (c-ptsd).

For many years, the medical establishment overmedicated/ overdrugged you while overlooking your Trauma (“overlooked trauma“). When you tried to tell doctors about your Trauma, they didn’t believe you and prescribed more drugs for you (“was not believed and was overdrugged again”).

Your family gaslighted you, which means: they denied your Trauma, telling you that it didn’t really happen, that you only imagined it happening because you were mentally ill (“denied anything had happened to me, and told me I thought things had happened due to mental illness”).

You have been gradually reducing the amount of prescribed drugs that you take, currently taking only a small amount, and as a result, your are “thinking much more clearly“.

You also shared that (1) having been overly medicated, your judgement and comprehension were negatively affected (currently much improved), and your physical health was damaged: your skin, digestion, hormones, and more, (2) that while you were searching to understand your Trauma, you were indoctrinated into a religion which harmed you further because it didn’t make sense, it applied circular reasoning (a faulty reasoning), discouraged you from thinking for yourself and promoted a mix of goodness and hate, and (3) that you married someone you were not suited for.

You shared that the big problem for you, currently, is that you “reported some things” and that you think that a lot of people are hating you for this reporting and they do not want to talk to you.

You asked: “Can anyone advise on the moral issues of forgiveness, whether to contact people who gaslight you or just let go/ignore, whether to report, and how to extricate oneself from religion or aspects of it which you don’t agree with???… Also, I’d be grateful if you could offer any explanation for the concept of evil spirits” –

– (1) in regard to Forgiveness: I wouldn’t try to forgive anyone who denies my real-life experience/ gaslighting me. Instead, I will establish no contact with anyone who gaslights me, (2) in regard to Reporting- if you report an unjust practice or situation that is harming people, then it’s the right thing to do, and you are a good person for doing so. At the same time, see to it that you don’t unnecessarily risk harm to yourself or to innocent others by the reporting-  make it confidential, if possible,

(3) regarding Extricating yourself from relgion or aspects of it: if the religion does not allows a member to exricate oneself from certain disagreeable aspects of it, then extricate yourself from the religion as a whole. There are support groups for people who find it difficult to extricate themselves from a religion, see Recovery from Religion. org, which offers support groups, live online talks and referrals to secular, evidence-based therapists, (4) in regard to evil spirits- demons and such, non-physical entities referred to in the bible and depicted in science fictiona and horror movies- I don’t believe that they exist.

You are welcome to respond to this post, to let me know if I understood correctly, if anything of what I suggested is helpful, etc.

anita