korkor,

You sentiments are not unwarranted. Sadly, the majority of global society states that we must financially procure ourselves for our adulthood but fail to focus and polish what is of true importance in our most critical and receptive years. This leaves us in our early ‘maturity’ to ask questions such as yours and ‘what am I working this job for?’, ‘why did I get into this field?’, ‘is this what I am to resort to for the rest of my life?’, ‘this life is becoming stagnant/poignant, isn’t there more?’ and ‘what am I truly supposed to be doing’, among others. While it isn’t entirely wrong to emphasize largely on the financial aspect of our global economy as to create (some sort of) order, it is my personal belief that too little is spent on our mental and spiritual development to supplement and perhaps improve upon our current systematic structure. Unfortunately, because this isn’t so, we must undertake our metamorphosis in a painful and sometimes extreme way which can result in even less favorable outcomes. My friend, despite your suffering, I am glad that you are experiencing this circumstance and asking for help and advice. Such an act states that you inherently wish to live not solely for the sake of living, or fear of dying, but to find and experience beauty in your life and being. This makes me truly happy. And, while I am still a student of life I hope I can be of some help to you.

I have been taught that we will happen upon impasse after impasse after impasse almost indefinitely. These impasses will happen on all aspects and levels of our lives. However, these will only appear as impasses because we have not yet learned and obtained the tools to tackle these obstructions. And sometimes, it is simply a matter of finding the tools which makes these obstructions difficult to overcome. But where to look for these so called ‘tools’? In your case, you feel out of touch with passion, can’t decide on a goal, have no sense of purpose, focus, motivation, etc…and perhaps you simply feel this way because you have not wandered enough. This is not to say that this is your fault. Sometimes, we walk on our own to new territories and sometimes we are led there by others or simply stumble upon them by chance. However, when one seeks something, it is most likely that instead of waiting for that which we seek, we will simply go a journey, or journeys, to find what we’re looking for. Perhaps you’ve already seen much, perhaps you’ve already done much, however, who’s to truly say? Compared to a child, your claim could be true. However, compared to a traveler, your claim could then be untrue.

And so, in finding the answers you seek, do you believe you’ve ‘traveled’ enough? Do you believe you’ve seen enough? Been exposed enough? Done enough? Experienced enough? Pondered enough? Asked enough? Accomplished enough? I’m sure you get my gist. What you seek, what we all seek: direction, purpose, goals, focus, motivations, etc….are extremely significant questions for once we find the answers to them they will dictate our entire lives. The fact that you are facing difficulty finding answers proves their significance. Such grand findings should not be so easily found. Hence, do not languish when answers do not easily come (in all aspect of your life). Sometimes, they come through clear examination and sometimes they come exactly when they are supposed to and sometimes not at all. While this is not entirely comforting to know, it must be known that there is only so much that we can control. However, answers usually come to those who seek and your yourself are a seeker, hence, the answers will surely come.

Lastly, if you have been sulking for a good while now, please know that a (positive) change in attitude may not instantly occur. Similarly to someone suffering through a prolonged period of depression, you cannot expect this individual to find joy instantly. The same can be said about your situation with passion. While it can also be said that a combination of factors are playing a role in your lack of it, we must understand that there are also factors which contribute to our finding a passion. For example, you may not have enjoyed gardening when you were younger, however, as you aged, and perhaps through experimentation, you’ve found that growing a myriad of colorful flowers brought about a fulfilling sentiment. Time, experimentation, exposure and persistence, among others, are but only some of the factors that play a role in finding a passion, or passions. However, do take care, for, if you are (or become) anything like me, you may find passion to be both a curse and a blessing for I have too much that I love and would love to do with my entire being.

I apologize for the long reply post and also for any grammatical errors I tend to make. I hope my poor advice helps and I wish you all the best.

Namaste,

Al

georgev,

I simply meant that my passion in living this existence is so great that I wish to experience it all (all that is wholesome, that is). However, because my resources are limited I am unfortunately only allowed to pursue some of the endeavors on my list.

I hope I did well in explaining it.

Al