Dear jubeesup:

This is what you wrote, distilled to facts: “So, I had been talking to this guy… online… He’d text me constantly…after he told me he had a dream about me, that’s when… we…texted alllll the time… I proposed meeting him… I…packed up for a couple days, and left…An hour into the drive, I struck a curb wrong… When I told him, he…drove three hours just to sit in the ER with me… asking me not to move and trying to get things for me…he took me home following my mom…We got home and he put a movie in for me, and we laid in my bed together…He even rubbed my back to help with some of the strain from the accident. The next day, we got … intimate… He stayed for two days to help me after the wreck, and then left for work on the next day. We still texted, chatted, cammed, talked constantly.. He gave me a huge hug and sniffed my hair…I (made) him food after his long drive…I had filled my room full of lit candles. And played a song on my ukulele for him…We got intimate again. The next day we went to an amusement park! Ate dinner together! …took showers together…He hung out with my family…And then he got called into work early.

…I rarely head from him. When I did, it was small snippets of information…he just avoided me. Finally, he answered me, telling me that he needed time to figure out what he wanted. That he liked me as more than a friend but he thought the idea of being attached to someone again was harsh, that he liked just having to worry about his own problems… I left him alone for days. Finally, he texted me and said he missed my sweet words…I responded…And then he goes through periods of being present and completely distant…

I don’t understand what’s happening, how to feel, or really what to do…”

Your whole relationship in person happened within four days or so. Only four days and nights, total. What is happening is that no matter how you feel, it has been a SHORT, short time that you spent with him. And you were very emotional through much of it because of your car accident. Not enough time and not enough quality for a substantial relationship. I would disengage from night and daytime dreaming and look at reality, disengage from my own emotional commentary (which I deleted in the above quote) and focus on the facts. What he told you is part of Facts only examining of reality.

I hope this is helpful to you, to re-read the Facts-Only reality retelling of what happened.

anita

Anytime someone goes all in and then pulls back like he did is unsure of what they want. Mixed messages mean mixed feelings. For your own sanity step back and figure out what it is your want in a relationship (regardless of who it’s with) and then announce to the universe your intention to have that by moving forward with your own life and let him figure things out for himself. If he decides he wants to be with you then you can revisit whether he can give you what you want, but for now, I would move on and not wait for him to come back. Best of luck!

~Jodi