Wow. I’ve always felt like I needed my family so much but I guess they don’t need me like I need them. How can I change the view of my mother to heal? I don’t even know what to do, I don’t like myself very much right now. How can I learn to be okay knowing my family cannot give me the relationships I always wanted with them?

Hi Anita,

I had a court trial for my ex today. I had so much anxiety and nerves and pain on my way to court alone, it literally felt like I was going to die. This “friend” of mine did not wake up on time, caused me to be late, brought a knife into court which made me even more late. I was so anxious when my ex and his family walked into the room. Even though my sister was there with me I felt so alone and like no one could understand. They asked for a jury trial, which is about the fifth time they’ve postponed  something. Now I have to go to a higher court in a few months and live this all over again. I feel like no one will believe me. I feel like I won’t have justice. And I feel like I don’t even like myself, no one checked on me or talked about anything with me. I just feel like I can’t even have sympathy for myself I feel like I’m in the wrong

Thank you so much Anita it is really amazing to hear some validation today it was a hard day and I worried about it for months, but I did make it through. I had stopped going to the group for a little and won’t be able to go next week. When I feel depressed even that seems like too much to get up for but I know I usually felt more calm and not so alone afterwards so I am planning to attend when I can again. I am going to be eagerly waiting for my individual therapy on Tuesday. For  tonight I’m just trying to tell myself that I made it this far and I won’t feel so distressed forever. I will just need to take this day by day and give myself more compassion

Hi Anita,

I feel like I am having trouble getting out of this friendship. I keep my distance and she pulls me back in with nice messages. Yesterday she asked me to hangout, then ignored me all day. I asked her what happened and she said her friend had an emergency. Today I saw her and she accidentally told me she was actually out with my ex’s friends. And how she regrets reporting them with me because “they’re sweet people”. It’s like I fall into her trap because I cannot be as open with my family and she didn’t like when I had other friends, so I just was with her all the time. Now when I need to talk to someone I don’t know who to go to so I go back when I know she is an abusive friend. I don’t even like being around her or talking to her I just feel like I have no one else. I have blocked her because I know I don’t want this life and it holds me back from finding what I do what. I have just written a list of many things she’s done that have hurt me (I was shocked at how long it was) to read if I somehow get more messages from her trying to pull me back in. I feel as though the other relationships in my life, no one completely understands me. Have you ever felt this way? Do you have any advice?