Dear srk:

I am sorry that you lost your kitten. Some of your anguish since is about trying to save him, chasing away the dogs, carrying him back to the house, checking to see if he was significantly injured, seeing no such injuries, thinking you saved him… only to watch him pass away:

Your efforts to save him failed and it makes you feel powerless, your best efforts having failed, doesn’t it?

When we feel powerless we also  feel anxious. There is fear when we are unable to change or prevent bad situations. Do you relate to what I suggested here?

anita

Dear srk:

Regarding what killed your kitten: I read that people who died following a very scary experience, died not from fear itself, but from the fear affecting a pre-existing heart condition. It makes sense because almost all people who suffer terrible panic attacks do not die. I am wondering if your kitten had a weak heart.

cat health. com reads: “Feline cardiac or heart disease is the silent killer of cats. One in six cats can be born with or develop heart disease in its lifetime. Heart disease can be broadly defined as any abnormality of the heart, and therefore includes a wide range of conditions… Heart disease can be.. congenital (present at birth or near birth) or acquired (develop over time and with age).”

Under “Lifestyle Changes” on the same website, it says: “Environmental stress may activate the nervous system, placing excess stress on the already overstressed left ventricle, and possibly leading to heart failure”- the left ventricle is part of the heart, and the dogs barking at your kitten constituted a severe environmental stress for your cat.

Regarding your guilt feelings about your kitten’s passing, you may find something helpful in the website healing pet loss. com. Even though you did not cause your pet’s death, parts of the following website may be helpful to you:  hoping for. com/ dealing with guilt when you caused your pet’s death.

Will you look into these websites, take your time and let me know what you got out of it?

anita

You are welcome, srk. I will read from you when you get back to me.

anita

Dear srk:

There is a special, simple love/ relationship between a man and his pet, one that is free from the complications, disruptions and dishonesty that to often exist in human love/ relationships. It is an honest, innocent kind of love.

Anytime you want to post about your cat, or about anything, please do.

anita

Dear srk:

Those waves of memories and emotion, when you become dysfunctional and tear up, try to not be afraid of those waves: you survived them and you will continue to survive them. You are okay and you will be okay.

About being disloyal to your kitten if you let go of his memories- if what you mean by it is that every once in a while you forget about him, and then you remember and you feel disloyal because you forgot- I suggest that you decide to think about him every day at a specific time and place, let’s say at 4 pm at home/ elsewhere, and decide that it is okay if you don’t think about him at other times. Does this make sense?

anita

Dear srk:

Let me know how it works. Again, I am sorry that you lost your kitten. You loved him and you still do, even though you don’t think about him all the time (no one thinks about any other person or pet all the time, it is not possible and it is not useful).

anita

Dear srk:

You are welcome, and thank you for updating your thread with such a positive, inspiring post. What a positive legacy your cat left behind: because he was in your life, you are now a better person, more appreciative, patient and calmer while dealing with other living beings.

It might be a good idea for you to print your recent post into paper, put it in a small frame and place it on a desk, or hang it on the wall in your room, so you can re-read it every morning as a meditative way to start each day.

anita