Hey Tom. I’m sorry to hear about your tough time.

My mother is negative a lot of the time as well. As I’m only 21 and still living with her whilst trying to get myself properly sorted out in life, it can be difficult to constantly receive criticism and negativity about choices you make.

A lot of the time, I would just prefer my mother to ask ‘Why?’ in a curious and caring way. As long as you are mindful in your question you should get an honest response.

By asking why, I feel someone is seeking to understand what I’m trying to do or say. You can then figure out the reasons as to why your friends or family feel it’s the correct course of action or have suggested it. From there, a more balanced and informed opinion can be made and you can remain mindful of your disposition.

What’s fantastic is that you saw and have outwardly expressed what you want to change. Mr Hasselstrøm is very correct, change starts within and it’s a decision everyone has to make about one issue or another.

Focus on being the person YOU want to be and, most importantly, forgive yourself. You sound like you’re still beating yourself up about it.

If you don’t forgive yourself you’re not going to allow yourself the space to grow.

I hope this helps – changing is not always an easy thing.

All the best x

• This reply was modified 11 years, 5 months ago by Hollie Caddock.