Brad,

Have you spoken to her about your concerns about distance between you? What does she have to say? You mentioned you doubt her motives, what motives are you afraid of?

Intimacy takes work from both sides, and will spin out of control without mutual investment. It sounds like some spinning is going on, where you only feel like you’re connected when you’re investing the effort. If you don’t talk to her about it, you’ll never really know what she has to say about it and simply guess and fantasize.

That being said, our journey is like a fertile field, and it is always up to us to prepare the soil, implant it with our desires, then nourish it. Said differently, some hearts are more fertile than others, and if you’re not being nourished by your efforts (always giving and never receiving) then perhaps it just isn’t a good fit. There also might be something else going on from her side that has decreased her belief in the union, and that with some patient tending of weeds, the blooms will return.

Without knowing her thoughts, wishes, hopes and dreams, you’ll never know!

With warmth,
Matt

Brad, this is the bottom line for me – your basic, fundamental needs within a relationship are not being met. My opinion, is that it’s time to move on. As Christina said, being alone is very hard, and this is true. But if you look at it, you already are, and it seems you are thriving. You moved away from your home state – I would cut the last tie.

Also, I can’t not mention this. I’m sorry your mother passed away, and, as I continued to read your post, it struck me as very odd that your ex-girlfriend decides to try to get back together at that very emotional and vulnerable moment in your life. She could have given you love and support without the added emotional weight of getting back together with you. I find this act extremely manipulative on her part. I obviously don’t know what her motives and intentions were, but to me, it’s a red flag.

Take care…. I hope all works out for you.